The Shark and Sadist
by xotakux2002x
Summary: There is a certain balance between the sadistic Itachi and his partner Kisame. One day, the balance is altered, and frustration/terror/hilarity ensues. Horror fic, kisaita, rated for gore.
1. Prologue

The edge of my mouth twisted up ever-so-slightly as Itachi's most recent victim let out a scream of pain. This never got old.

The three of us were standing in the midst of a field littered with the dead and dying. These people had made a grave error and chosen to fight with the two of us in head to head combat, believing they actually stood a chance. Poor fools.

The man let out another howl, this time falling to his knees. The sight of this wretched soul crying out was getting old, and my eyes left the doomed ninja, traveling up to the man standing mere feet from me, the cause of all this suffering.

Itachi Uchiha stood perfectly still, eyes red and trained on the victim. He looked at the man with indifference, no emotion apparent on his perfectly stoic face. At least, not to anyone with eyes less trained than my own.

Every now and again, a muscle would twitch on Itachi's face, or his eyes would flash a brighter red for a brief second. Both these things, as well as the amount of time Itachi took when torturing his victims, reminded me just how sadistic my partner could be.

When Pein first warned me that my new partner would be a little different than most, I had of course asked what he meant by that. Sir leader's answer? A short warning to stay on his good side. What a prick.

Still, when I met the weasel a few weeks later, I took his words to heart, and kept to myself, speaking only to the teen when it became absolutely necessary. Which wasn't often, let me tell you. The kid hated asking for help, making comments, offering assistance on most matters, and talking in general. If it weren't for the fact that he'd occasionally comment about something on a mission, I'd forget he could speak.

Time went on, and Pein's warning slowly drifted from my mind. Until we got our first real mission. When I say real mission, I'm referring to assassination, as opposed to spying or retrieval, both of which are boring as hell.

We were able to kill our target, but not without drawing attention to ourselves. A battle was soon taking place, Itachi and I outnumbered fifty to one. Not good odds, but I've dealt with worse.

As the fighting drew closer to the end, two people made a desperate attempt to kill Itachi, charging him at the same time rushing across the roof we were standing on, feet clattering nosily against the tiles. I remember watching as he sidestepped them both and plucked a weapon from the female's hand, slashing her across the neck and letting her body fall before kicking her, watching as she rolled off the building and crashed to the ground forty feet below them. The other guy made he mistake of following the doomed woman's path with his eyes instead of focusing on the fight. This got him trapped in the Tsukuyomi.

Itachi showed no reaction as the attacker screamed bloody murder, engulfed by the pain of being killed from within his own head. The Uchiha finally showed mercy (if you can call it that) and let him die, limp body dropping onto the roof with a thud. Then, to my surprise, he leapt off the building and landed feet from the woman he'd killed earlier.

At least, I thought she'd been killed. Turns out she was laying there the whole time, bleeding out as she listened to the sound of her comrade's dying cries of agony. Itachi grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up to look into his eyes, dragging her into the dark depths of his mental torture chamber.

She shrieked loud enough to wake the dead, going on and on about burning up. I was beginning to feel nauseous, and just wanted Itachi to finish up. Only he wasn't done yet.

He released the genjutsu and took a moment to look around, knowing the broken female in his hand wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He finally seemed to locate what he'd been looking for, and shoved the woman away from him. She stumbled back on her one unbroken leg, tripping over a lamp stand and sending both to the ground with a crash. It was as Itachi was forming his hand signs that I noticed the candle oil seeping into her clothing.

Itachi finished and sent a few fireballs at her, more than enough to ignite the flammable liquid.

The woman howled as her body was consumed by flames, and I turned to leave. To my shock, Itachi did not follow suit. He merely stood rooted to the spot, watching the woman burn to death with no more emotion on his face than if he was observing a bug crossing the road. My partner remained as still as a statue until the woman was good and dead. He then looked to me and ordered me to search the area for any other survivors.

I agreed and walked off, heading to the other side of the castle, where I promptly stopped and vomited everything I'd consumed in the last twenty-four hours.

But, that was then, and this was now. I'd gradually built up a tolerance to Itachi's sadistic ways, and now found them somewhat entertaining. They made missions more exciting, to say the least.

The sound of silence brought me back to reality, informing me that my young partner had finally finished off the last man. Sure enough, Itachi was already walking off, knowing that I'd follow behind him.

To say the least, Itachi's techniques and personality impressed me. To tell the truth, the Uchiha scared the living hell out of me. I was glad that I'd listened to the advice Pein gave me. There was little doubt in my mind that if I hadn't, I would have met the fate of countless other victims of the Uchiha long ago.


	2. Chapter 1

With the death of my latest victim, our mission drew to a close. I stepped over the dead body and began the trek back to headquarters, knowing Kisame would follow. Sure enough, I could hear his heavy footsteps behind mine moments later.

I was ready to go home. I wasn't exhausted, injured, or anything of that nature, mind you. This mission had simply dragged on much longer tan I would have like, and the relief that always came with a finished job could only truly be acquired once my partner and I were back at the base, in our rooms while Pein read our report. I inwardly frowned at that. Kisame would no doubt expect me to write the report, a habit I'd made after Kisame reported my "cruel" treatment towards a nameless assailant we'd fought early on in the partnership. Pein had chewed me out for it, and ever since then I'd written our reports, giving Pein only the facts of our missions. The methods I used for disposing my victims were of little consequence, overall, and therefore were often omitted, or summed up with something along the lines of, "Sharingan was used on # of victims".

I am not, as Kisame sometimes crudely refers to me as, a sadist. I merely enjoy invading a person's mind and exploring what it takes to make them cry, scream, or beg. If there is any joy in my torture, it is in the finding of what these people truly dread.

I remember one mission we were sent on, where I battled a woman atop a bridge. I cannot recall her face, body type, or even what village she hailed from. Yet, I still remember her.

Like nearly all my victims, she became trapped in the Tsukiyomi. It was a long battle; I stabbed, burned, sliced, smashed, and used countless other tortures on her, with no response. She fascinated me, having such resistance.

And then, I tried to drown her.

The reaction was almost immediate. She began struggling, eyes widening in fear, a scream escaping, noise muffled by the water surrounding her. I'd found the weak spot in her near-impenetrable armor, at long last. Had I had even an ounce less of self-control, I may have smiled at this.

Finally, I grew tired of this game, and released her. Her body fell unconscious to the ground at my feet, her energy spent, her mind snapped. I picked up the poor thing and threw her over the side of the bridge to drown in the blue liquid beneath us.

I did not do this out of cruelty. I did not kill her because I enjoyed her suffering. She merely died because I had gained all the information I could from her, and thus was useless to me. Had she been left to live, she may have somehow given away valuable information about me. That being said, I really had no choice but to kill her.

Each and every victim that falls at my hand always gives me new information. Some new hint about what makes the human mind tick. A clue as to what all fears are based on. A new page to add to my book of torture and pain. One step closer to perfecting the method of how to rip apart a human being at their innermost core.

Alright, maybe I am a bit sadistic.

I heard my partner speak, but the words were lost on me. Kisame really should learn not to speak to me when my mind is elsewhere. I give him a short "Hn," in reply. He can interpret it as he pleases.

"I thought not. Looks like we'll have to camp out tonight, Itachi."

Ah, he'd been speaking of finding a town to stay in. I frown at his statement. Summer has finally left, taking both its light and heat with it. I am not looking forward to spending the night outside where it is sure to be both cold and windy, but dusk is fast approaching, and we need to start searching for shelter before we lose all light.

In some ways, I am lucky to have Kisame for a partner. He's always had a better understanding of nature than I, and as much as I hate to say it, he is better at survival techniques too. In under an hour he had found a cave that would provide adequate shelter. It was not too deep, and the mouth was wide enough for both of us to enter without bending. Now that shelter had been found, our next priority had to be heat. Wood was gathered, a fire was lit, and finally we could settle down and eat.

I only ate half the dinner I packed; just enough to silence my growling stomach. Should we be attacked in the middle of the night, I would not want to fight on a full stomach. One slash to the gut, and it's all over. You'll bleed out in no time. Kisame, of course, lives under the code of treating each minute like it's your last, and all but inhaled the entire tray of food he'd packed. I sighed to myself. How this man had lasted so long living like this astounded me.

Once we were done, I moved to the mouth of the cave, sitting just outside it. Kisame picked up on my body language in an instant. I was agreeing to take the first watch.

In all the years Kisame and I had been together, we had never slept at the same time. Our idea for this is simple enough: when you are a criminal, there is no such thing as safety. The threat of death is always a hair's breath away, and as such we must always be on our guard. This means sleeping in shifts.

As I look around for any signs of danger, I begin a mental outline of our report to Sir Leader. This report will be rather short, despite the battle we encountered at the end. In truth, this mission was simplistic, free of complications, and no real challenge to the two of us-

"Itachi, it's my turn."

Kisame's words startle me, and I turn to look at the shark. Judging by how far the fire has died down, I've managed to let him sleep through part of his shift.

This isn't the first time I've done this. I merely become lost in thought and allow the shark a few extra hours of sleep now and again. I see no harm in giving my partner more rest; his attacks are always physical, so he requires more R and R than my body does.

I nod and brush past him, stripping off my cloak and laying it on the ground to sleep on. The cloaks we wear serve many purposes; a symbol of the Akatsuki, a shelter from wind and rain, and, on occasions like this, a bed.

I curl up in silence, shutting my tired eyes. I'm beginning to think I overused them again; they're starting to ache, and I'm feeling drained. As I drift off, my eyes fall on Kisame, who's sitting calmly in the cave's entrance.

I find myself hoping he'll return the kindness of a few extra hours of sleep.


	3. Chapter 2

For the rest of my life, I'll blame Deidara for what happened over the course of the next few months.

As cliché as it may sound, everything started in the kitchen of our base. The room was dark, dank, and perfectly gloomy, just like everything else in our headquarters.

I had just awoken, and had journeyed downstairs in hopes of acquiring breakfast before my fellow members decimated our supplies, as they so often did the day after we restocked the food.

My meal consisted of toast and fried eggs. What, were you expecting the heart of my most recent victim? I may be a heartless criminal, but I'm human. Although I use that term as loosely as possible.

As I began consuming my meal, I heard the sound of another person enter the room. I looked up, putting my head back down as soon as I saw blonde. Deidara.

At the risk of sounding like Akasuna Sasori, the terrorist was a brat. Childish, short-tempered, and rarely thinking things through, he could often be described as the polar opposite of both Sasori and myself. Probably why he detested the both of us so much, although as of late he's built up a fair tolerance for the puppet master.

He too was in search of a meal, and soon extracted a carton of milk from the fridge, as well as a box of cold cereal from the cabinets overhead.

If any outsiders ever entered our base, all fear of the mighty Akatsuki would vanish as soon as they saw us at mealtime.

I very nearly scoffed when I saw that that would be all Deidara was going to eat. Cold food requires more time to digest, because your body must heat it up, causing more blood to flow to the torso. It makes you an easy target during a fight, and if you're hit in the stomach region, not only do you bleed out quicker, but the stomach acid that's been trying to digest your nutrition spills out, burning the vital organs within your body in a slow, torturous death. I find it rather fascinating.

Deidara ate his breakfast at the other end of the table, as if sitting any closer to me would make him unclean. He stayed quiet, as did I; in fact, were it not for the infrequent clink of his spoon against the bowl, I would have forgotten that he was even there.

The clinks stopped entirely, and I knew he'd finished when he rose from the table. He walked to the sink, washed out his dishes, and replaced them in the cabinet. I was still picking at my eggs, debating whether I was hungry enough to eat all my food or not. "Itachi, un."

My mind immediately went on high alert. Deidara rarely so much as spares me a glance; if he's ever trying to converse, it can't be good. "What?"

"How do you feel about Kisame?"

I spent a few moments deeply immersed in my own thoughts, trying to figure out the most appropriate way to answer the bomber's question. "He is a good partner," I settled on. Short, sweet, and nothing that could possibly be misconstrued in any way.

"Yes, but how do you feel about him, un?" the blonde went on, walking back to the table and sitting down in the chair opposite me once again.

I frowned. Had I not been clear? "I can tolerate his presence without any problems." Maybe that would get through the brat's thick skull.

"Really? That's too bad, un." Deidara allowed the words to hang in the air for a few moments, as if waiting for me to take the bait. When I failed to, he merely continued. "You guys would make such a cute couple, un," he said nonchalantly, as if we were chatting about the weather.

I sat for the next few seconds in silence, wondering where the hell that came from. The words were nearly enough to shock me. Nearly. I gave a soft "Hn," in reply, hoping to buy a bit of time as the inner workings of Deidara's mind tried to make sense of my answer.

"I mean it. You two would look cute together, and he seems like a good boyfriend to me, un."

By now, I had reduced myself to sighing and rubbing my temples. "Deidara," I began, "even if I was gay, and even if Kisame were gay, and even if we were living in some alternate universe were there was a remote possibility that this nonsense could happen, we are completely incompatible." I'd spoken more than I would have liked to, but this was one of those few times were you absolutely had to drill your point into a fool's skull.

"People say that about danna and me, but we're getting along fine, un," Deidara argued.

I made a mental note to tell Kisame that Deidara's revelation explains the screams we'd been hearing from their room for the last few nights. I was almost disappointed to hear that the cries were not from Deidara's pain.

"Come on, un. Give me one reason why you can't be with Kisame, un," he demanded. I kept my mouth shut, and he eventually sighed and rose from the table. "Just think about it, un." Soon enough, he was gone.

Now, I was left with the question of why such an idea seemed so ludicrous to me. Sex, tempers, methods of fighting all presented cases before me, but when he real reason hit, my eyes nearly bugged out in astonishment.

I am terrified of my partner.

While it's true that he obeys my commands, agrees to my plans, and fights alongside me in battle, I know this is only because he wants to. I simple decision not to aid me, boredom of listening to my commands, or sheer displeasure at me leading him, and he could turn on me. And I would be unable to stop him.

Because Kisame knows my limits. He knows how I fight, how long I can fight, and what my weaknesses are. He's the only person who knows everything about me, including how to take me down, from the inside or outside.

He could break me without putting any true amount of effort into it. That truly frightens me.

This only made what happened next that much stranger in my eyes.


	4. Chapter 3

As I sat in Pein's office, tapping my foot and staring at the wall above our leader's head, I knew I should be listening to the assignment he was giving us. I knew this because Itachi wasn't likely to bring it up until right before we got to our destination, and leader doesn't like to repeat himself.

I wanted to listen, really I did. My mind just didn't want to focus long enough for me to hear what he was saying. I caught a few snippets here and there; assassination, heavily fortified, a week away, and stuff like that. Just enough for me to get a general picture. More or less.

Itachi, of course, was staring right at Pein, a short hn escaping now and then. He was taking in every detail Pein was giving him, that oh-so-sadistic mind of his already laying out a plan that would no doubt go off perfectly, as they always did. It was almost creepy, in a way. Not that I'd ever complain about having a partner that actually listened to one of Sir Leader's lectures, mind you.

Pein stopped speaking, and my leg stopped moving. "Is that clear?" he asked.

We both nodded, rose, and left without another word. Time to go.

Whenever possible, Itachi and I traveled light. A change of clothes, a few dehydrated meals, and other bare necessities. I used to pack more, before I had Itachi for a partner. Then he came along and saw what I packed for one mission, resulting in a short, snippy chewing out about every ounce we have to pack being deadweight that could cost us our lives should we ever have to flee suddenly.

Sometimes I think Itachi is beyond cynical and just plain morbid.

Long story short, I learned to pack light after that. It's kinda gross having to go without clean clothes until you can find a stream or something to wash them in, but it's worth not having the extra luggage if you've been wounded in a fight. I'll give my partner this much; he may be a pessimistic sadist, but he's a smart pessimistic sadist.

It didn't take long for the two of us to get ready, and pretty soon we were able to leave the base, heading off to complete yet another assignment.

It was cool outside, and slightly overcast. Fall was coming early this year, and the leaves were already beginning to fall from the trees. I don't know why the weather of that day stands out to me, but it does.

Itachi and I didn't have much to talk about, so we settled for running in silence through the treetops, the quiet of the afternoon occasionally broken by the thud of our feet against wood. With nothing better to do, I took a few moments to study my partner.

It's weird how perfectly calm he always is. Like he's off in some other world, and he's only looking at reality through a mirror, knowing nothing here can touch him, hurt him, or even get close to him. Sometimes I consider rigging up some sort of booby trap in our room just to try and get a reaction out of him.

Then I remember how much I like having my mind and limbs in tact.

Aside from that, he reminds me of a dead person. The glassy look in his eyes, the fact he never talks if he can help it, and how he just sits still for hours on end, staring off at nothing…it's exactly like having a corpse for a partner. Only he moves, so would that make him a zombie? Urgh, forget it.

Our trek continued for hours, then days, until we finally stopped. If Itachi's decided to let us rest, then that means that our target can't be far away now. I smiled to myself as I sank down onto the compacted earth beneath my feet, legs all but singing in relief that I'm sitting down.

Itachi, of course, was sitting a few meters away from me, staring at the ground. Occasionally he'd blink, or shake his head, and I knew he was finishing up his plan. The weasel only ever thinks of strategies on the way to our target, then the whole way back outlines the report in his head. It can't be normal to think that much.

He finally got up, and I followed suit. "We're infiltrating a mansion," he informed me. "We go in, kill the owner, and leave."

Short, sweet, and to the point. If leader could talk like this, I might actually pay attention to his explanations.

I hefted Samehada onto my back and grinned down at my partner, nodding. I always enjoyed a good fight, no matter what the circumstances were.

We waited until dark before coming any closer to our target. Once the sun had set, we swiftly dashed through the woods, emerging in a clearing in front of twenty foot tall wall. We cleared it easily, stopping on the top to briefly look around the vacant grounds before hopping down onto terra firma.

I followed close behind Itachi, keeping my eyes out for any signs of attackers. There were none, which was making me worry. If you're able to get to the front door of a mansion without so much as running into a fly, it can only mean two things: one, the place has lousy security, or two, there's a trap. I've never had the pleasure of it being the first option.

I knew Itachi must have picked up on this as well; he's the kind of person that notices anything and everything, and probably noticed even before I did.

We came to a long, narrow hallway. Our target was on the other end, separated from us by forty feet and a wooden door. Every fiber of my being was screaming trap by now; the hall, besides being constricted and lengthy, offered absolutely no forms of cover in the event of an attack, not even a table or statue to hide behind.

Judging from Itachi's stance, the idea of rushing into such an obvious ambush was just as revolting to him. Still, we couldn't simply run back outside and try to look for another way to get to our target. That would alert whoever set this up that we were on to them, and would provoke an attack, possibly allowing our guy to escape. And that can only lead to returning home to an angry Pein, who will give us a lecture that's even longer than his explanations on our missions.

I shifted my weight forward. Itachi and I have learned to pick up on each other's body language, and use it more frequently than words in battle. This was code for move in. Still wearing that impassive mask of a face, he moved forward.

We spread out, keeping a good ten feet away from each other. It lessens security, but also means we're not as likely to both get captured. We walk five feet, then ten, then twenty-

I almost rolled my eyes when they descended upon us.

These guys had not only laid a pathetic trap, but had also overestimated their own strength. There were only ten of them, and half of them were shaking in fear. I couldn't help but grin then. They had every right to be scared, considering what was about to happen to them.

Sometimes I think Itachi's sadism is rubbing off on me.

Overall, I think my deaths were merciful, compared to the excruciating torture Itachi put them through. After all, I at least aimed for vital spots, whereas Itachi took the time to slice a man's throat to silence his cries, burn off his legs, and then pull him into the Tsukiyomi. Even if he couldn't hear the screams, the sight of the victim's face twisting in horror, mouth wide open in a silent scream as tears ran down his face, and choking gasps were enough to satisfy the Uchiha's bloodthirsty desires. I had to look away after a few moments and move on to my next victim.

I think the others knew they weren't going to last, so they ganged up on me, probably hoping somewhere in the back of their mind that if they fought me, they'd be spared a torturous end. I'd be lying if I said I didn't agree with them.

In the end, I killed eight, and Itachi only got two. I could tell from the weasel's eyes that his bloodlust hadn't been satisfied, meaning I'd be on pins and needles the whole way back home. Curse that weasel.

And then, something that I thought impossible happened.

It was mostly my fault, I'll admit; she'd been one of my victims, and I'd gotten lazy towards the end of our fight, and hadn't hit her vital spots. Actually, I pretty much just slashed at her stomach and left her to bleed out. How was I supposed to know she was a medical ninja?!

Well, the woman had managed to stop the bleeding, and draw a knife. Now I can shift some of the blame to Itachi; if I missed it, he should have caught it. What with those sharp eyes of his and all…

Bottom line; neither one of us noticed this until the female had lunged forward and stabbed my partner in the thigh.

We both initially reacted the same way; shock. Someone had hit Itachi. Moreover, that someone was a low-level, hired bodyguard who couldn't have beaten a decapitated Hidan. I could only imagine the shame this was causing Itachi on the inside.

I was still in shock when the look in the weasel's eyes transformed into fury. This woman was going to die, and painfully at that.

I'll never know exactly what my partner did to her in the Tsukiyomi, and I'm more than a little glad about that. Her screams were ones of sheer, undiluted suffering, and kept me awake at night for many months after that.

Once he was finished ripping her apart on the inside, my normally calm and collected partner stomped down on her skull, crushing it. Her body gave a few weak spasms before the life finally slipped out of it. I had to look away, but masked it as heading for our target's room since Itachi had obviously finished her off.

I don't have much to say about finishing our assignment; the guy was asleep in bed, I pulled out a kunai and stabbed him, end of story.

Itachi seemed disappointed that there weren't more people for him to take out his frustrations on, which did not bode well for me. The female victim had been mine, after all, adding to the likelihood he'd come after me for one thing or another on the way home.

As we were heading out, my eyes fell on the bedside table; or, more specifically, a photo stuck inside a picture frame.

I picked it up, bringing it close to my face. "That's interesting," I said aloud.

"Hn?"

I turned the picture over for Itachi to see. It showed our target, smiling at the camera. One hand flashed a peace sign, and the other was wrapped around the waist of the female Itachi had just slaughtered. "I guess that's why she went after you," I said. "Love makes people do crazy things."

I received my second shock in twenty-four hours when Itachi's eyes widened ever-so-slightly. Had it been anyone but me, this would have gone unnoticed. However, it was me, so it didn't.

I was tempted to ask what had just gone through the weasel's head, but he turned around and walked out of the room before I could ask. Come to think of it, I probably didn't want to know what sick little thoughts just ran through his mind.

Shrugging it off, I followed him out of the mansion. Hopefully whatever had just clicked in the weasel's mind would keep him off my back on our trek home.


	5. Chapter 4

Of course, why didn't I think of it before! The answer to my problems had been staring at me for Kami knows how long, yet like an unskilled genin on the battlefield, I had overlooked the obvious.

I suppose a bit of credit ought to go to both Kisame and, much as it pains me to admit, Deidara. The sculptor had been the one to lay the circuitry in my mind; but Kisame's passing comment was what flipped the switch and turned on the light bulb.

I do believe I'm overusing metaphors here.

The fact of the matter was this; I had to make Kisame fall in love with me. There is no greater binding force amongst humans than emotional attachment, as I had seen proven countless times before. If the shark forged a bond with me, it would eliminate the risk of him exterminating me, while at the same time giving me a bit more control over the killing machine that was my partner. The thought was enough to make me smile, but I withheld it; aside from the fact that I would never dare openly show emotions, Kisame might have become more suspicious than he already was.

The man had seen me falter in our target's room, and was eyeing me carefully on the way back to the base. No doubt he suspected that I was about to lash out at him in my usual fashion; but, I didn't so much as look at him. I was already laying the ground work for what would hopefully become a prosperous relationship. At least, for me.

I could tell he was getting more and more unnerved as our trek continued. He was almost like a soldier lying in wait on the battlefield, becoming so desperate for something, anything to happen, that there is almost a sense of relief in their heart when the fight itself begins.

That was a simile, not a metaphor. Don't chastise me for it.

I finally decided to grant the shark his unspoken request for a "battle", and turned to face him. "Yes?" I asked calmly.

Sure enough, the relief was there in his eyes for the briefest of seconds, before replaced by fear. "Nothing!" My eyes narrowed, and he visibly grew more uneasy. We were standing in the middle of a road, far away from any forms of civilization that could have distracted us, or provided an escape for the shark. In short; we were not moving until he confessed what I already knew.

"I'm sorry about the girl," he apologized, looking to the ground, as if to act humble. The truth was, he was tactfully trying to avoid looking into my eyes, for fear of my Sharingan.

"Don't let it happen again," I said, careful to keep a threatening tone out of my voice.

"Right, Itachi-san," he said, looking up at me with just a hint of surprise on his face. No doubt he had expected to receive either a lecture or death threat for his earlier slip-up, perhaps even both.

Seeing no need to continue this conversation, I turned back around, and left thoughts of Kisame behind for a time. I still had a report to outline, after all.

-

The report was easy enough to write. I was careful to omit my tortures (as I always did) before turning it in to Sir Leader. Once the file was in Pein's hand, I exited the office, shutting the door behind me. Now, I could further plot my actions.

As I slowly made my way down the deserted hall towards the room Kisame and I shared, I realized that this would not be an easy victory. Not only would I have to convince my partner to fall for me, a cold and distant _male_, but I would also be forced to show emotions, perhaps even public displays of affection. Most of all, if I didn't play everything perfectly, it could and would come crumbling down about my ears. Kisame might even find out what I had been plotting, and bring my fears to life.

Like a grand chess master, I would have to think each move through carefully, and be patient. Pawns would have to be sacrificed, and even my more valuable pieces might fall; all of which I could accept, as long as I emerged the victor in this game.

With these thoughts rushing about in my head, I entered our room, prepared to put my partner in checkmate.


	6. Chapter 5

I'll admit, I was still fairly certain that Itachi was going to tear me limb from limb when he returned to our room. I could almost picture a check list in his head: report to Pein, come back to room, kill partner, dispose of body, make dinner, and go to bed. Laugh if you want, but I am not kidding.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye, pretending to be focused on cleaning rotting hunks of flesh from my sword. I need to learn to do that immediately after our missions, or else Samehada starts to stink like road kill. In fact- oh wait, the story.

Itachi came back into the room and walked straight to his bed. No glares, no lectures, nothing. An alarm immediately went of in my head. Something was up with my partner, no doubt about that.

I watched him strip out of his cloak, shirt, and pants, not looking away for an instant. No, I am not a pervert. Think about it. Modesty is nice and all, but would you look away from a psychotic, sadistic killer who could easily murder you in two point five seconds without breaking a sweat, just because you're trying to "respect his privacy"?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

So, after Itachi undressed, he sat down on the bed, turning slowly to face me. My eyes had already made their way back to the sword in my hands, so I doubt he noticed me observing his movements. Then again, he's Itachi Uchiha, so he probably saw everything going on around him at all times. Hearing that he actually had eyes in the back of his head wouldn't surprise me in the least.

Right, I'm off topic again.

He called out to me in a soft, monotone voice. I looked up, keeping an impassive look on my face. Was he going to lecture me now? "Kisame, do you want the first watch, or should I take it?"

I very nearly fainted. Itachi does not offer you options. He asks if you want to do something, and you agree to it. Otherwise, he frowns, and uses that oh-so-manipulative mind of his to scare you half out of your wits, until you agree to do what you were offered. Simply put, "Do you want the first watch?" translates to, "Take the first watch, or I'll kill you while you sleep."

Never, in the history of our partnership, had Itachi given me a choice in what we were going to do.

As soon as I got over my shock, my mind decided that the explanation for his actions was that this was a test. Some new sort of torture he was going to use on me, after my latest screw-up, and if I picked the wrong option here, he'd let me know the hard way. But which option was I supposed to pick? Let the weasel sleep? No, I'd taken the watch last night, so Itachi would interpret that as me thinking he was weak. On the other hand, if I told him to watch first, he'd think I was being bossy, perhaps even willing to challenge his authority. My mind raced; what was I supposed to do?!

"Kisame," Itachi said, a hint of annoyance in his tone.

My panic level shot up at the sound of my name; I needed to answer him, and fast, or it wouldn't matter what option I picked. "Whatever you want to do is fine by me, Itachi-san," I said calmly, looking back to my sword.

Itachi didn't speak for a few moments. Finally, he told me that he'd prefer that I take the first watch tonight. I nodded, pretending to focus on cleaning Samehada, while inwardly I was beyond relieved. Apparently letting Itachi remain in control had been the right answer.

Nothing, however, could prepare me for what happened next. He opened his mouth and asked, "Is that all right with you?"

I almost dropped Samehada. My eyes widened, and several eternities passed before I got my facial expression back under control.

I looked up at him with what I hoped was a surprised look, as opposed to complete and totally overwhelming shock, and said, "Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?"

He shrugged (yet another new thing coming from my partner) and lay down on our shared bed, turning his back to me. All was quiet for a few minutes. Just long enough for me to think that things were going back to normal. And then, out of the blue, Itachi started talking to me again. "Deidara and I were speaking the other day."

Samehada actually slipped from my grip this time, and I was barely able to catch the thing before it hit the floor. Was Itachi trying to make small talk with me now? "About?" I ventured.

"Apparently the screaming we've been hearing from their room isn't caused by Sasori torturing Deidara."

Despite my fears, my curiosity was now peaked. "Well then, what's happening?"

He paused for a while before speaking. "Deidara informed me…that he and Sasori are an item."

An item? Wait, so if they were going out, why would Deidara be-oh. _Oh._

Bad images filled my head, and I knew I wouldn't be able to look those two in the eye for a while. "Thought you'd like to know," Itachi finished.

Was there no end to the shocks?! Itachi never told me anything, unless he considered it to be information that I absolutely had to know. The idea of my partner talking with me for the sake of talking was as impossible as…well, him giving me options or asking if something was ok with me, really.

I thought about suggesting taking him to Kakuzu in the morning, seeing as how something was clearly very wrong with Itachi, but held my tongue. After all, under the clearly disturbed shell of my partner was a sadist, and if I pushed the wrong buttons I'd get killed. Perhaps I would be lucky, and this strange behavior would pass soon.

Minutes passed, and soon I could hear the low breathing of my partner. So, he finally fell asleep. Maybe now things could return to normal.

Right on cue, Deidara's screams cut through the air, and for the first time in what was to become a near-daily occurrence, I wished that Itachi hadn't told me what was really making our resident pyromaniac scream like that.


	7. Chapter 6

I sat on my bed, grinding my teeth in frustration. It had been THREE WEEKS since my blasted plan had been put into action, and no progress had been made. If anything, my attempts at kindness were driving my partner further away than ever. I'd even go as far as to say that Kisame was starting to think I'd gone mad. Which wasn't too far off the mark, considering how absolutely ridiculous this plan would appear to anyone but me.

Nevertheless, I was no about to give up. I had started this fiasco with a clear goal in mind, and I was determined to succeed. The problem now was figuring out exactly where I'd gone wrong. Perhaps I was being _too_ kind to my partner, and he suspected something. Maybe I could tone down the niceties, or alter exactly how my affections were displayed-

"Itachi."

I turned to look at my partner, who was standing in the doorway. Kisame was looking at me, concern on his face. He was probably disturbed by the fact that I hadn't noticed him when he'd first opened the door and walked in. Personally, I saw no reason for this to invoke worry. I had sensed his chakra signature as soon as he was at the door, and chose to ignore his entrance until it became necessary to acknowledge his presence. Clearly nothing was wrong with me.

I looked at him, offering a soft hn in reply to my name. "Pein's just given us our new assignment," he explained, unable to hide his smirk.

Although I withheld any outward sign of glee, I was actually delighted at the prospect of going out on a mission. Kisame and I had been at the base for far too long, in both of our opinions. This had resulted in restless behavior in him, and a stronger than usual urge to violently murder everyone around me. Missions were the one thing that kept both of us sane. Why the other groups detested being sent out is beyond even me.

Kisame quickly informed me of the departure time (sunrise the next day) and then handed me the scroll that contained all the data for our mission. No doubt he'd allowed his mind to wander in the presence of our leader and now expected me to read the information and form our plan of attack.

Immediately I picked up the scroll and began reading. This was exactly how I liked things involving our missions.

-n-

I allowed my lips to briefly curl into a smile as the man trapped in my Tsukiyomi let out a blood-chilling screech. Oh, how I'd longed for this.

My latest victim had an interesting fear; the sight of his own bones. Seeing the white as snow supports for the human body made him scream like there was no tomorrow. Which was exactly the case for him at this time.

I bent down by the man, who'd been tied to the ground for his torture session. Ignoring his pleas for mercy, I reached into the gaping wound I'd inflicted on his chest, my fingers curled around a rib. Ordinarily I wouldn't soil my hands with direct torture, but he made this all too fun.

The smirk still on my face, I snapped the rib between my fingers before ripping the bone out of the body, and tossing it away. Another cry of agony escaped his throat, followed by a sob. He was breaking, and fast.

As entertaining as our game was, I knew that my partner required aide back in the realm of reality. The smile fell as I stomped down on his throat, suffocating the life out of him. With that, I ended our game.

My world of red and black gave way to the array of colors present in the real world. The silence of the Tsukiyomi was replaced by the cries of ninjas in combat, and metal on metal as these people clashed.

Without missing a beat, a formed the appropriate hand sign to wipe out several of these men and women with a giant fireball. Now the stench of burnt flesh pervaded the air, making me wrinkle my nose in disgust. This is one of the reasons I enjoy Tsukiyomi torture so much. There's no messiness to it.

A quick survey revealed that my partner was holding his own against two other fighters. The men were using kunai blades against Kisame's Samehada. It was almost laughable, really. Those two didn't stand a chance.

I looked around the surrounding area, searching for any additional enemies. No more were visible on the battlefield, but a few could have easily slipped away while I was using my eyes, and Kisame was dueling others.

My suspicions were confirmed seconds later when a few shuriken flew through the air, aimed at my partner. Our opponents were trying to take out Kisame, since he was still engaged in combat, before moving on to fight me. Most would call this a coward's tactic; I could see the logic behind such a move.

My next move was both automatic, and immediate. However, it stands out in my mind because it's something I hadn't done since my days in the ANBU.

I extracted a few kunais from my cloak, and then, rather than throw them at the hidden enemy, I hurled them at the flying blades, deflecting them from my partner.

That was the first time I'd ever protected Kisame.


	8. Chapter 7

At first, the sound of metal on metal didn't register as unusual in my head. Beside the fact that I was currently trying to turn my opponents into mince meat, I knew we were in the middle of a fight. I just assumed Itachi was fighting hand to hand, and shoved it aside.

Until two seconds later, when I remembered that Itachi _never_ resorted to direct fighting.

By then, the guys I was fighting were down, bleeding out on the ground. My eyes took in the scene around me, finally noticing a small pile of knives on the ground by me. How did they get there...

I only vaguely heard the sounds of Itachi torturing the last opponent. My mind had realized that my partner had defended me, and proceeded to shut down.

See, Itachi and I were partners only in the sense that we were sent on assignments together, and battled on the same side in fights. We didn't work as a team, we didn't use combo attacks to beat our adversaries; hell, we didn't even acknowledge each others' presence in a battle!

Besides this, my mind was trying to wrap around the idea that Itachi had even protected me at all. Half the time I was worried that _he_ was going to be the one throwing knives at _my_ back. I hadn't even allowed the thought that he'd so much as consider defending me to enter my mind.

While my brain was trying to get back in working order, Itachi had walked over and was now picking up his various weapons from the ground. I decided that I should probably stop standing there, staring like an idiot, before he decided he'd made a mistake and finish our enemies' job.

Now, I had another dilemma. I knew I should probably thank Itachi. However, doing so would be admitting aloud that Itachi had actually shown me an act of kindness. He might get annoyed at me acknowledging his help, and get mad.

Then again, if Itachi had been nice, the apocalypse was clearly at hand, so what could it hurt?

"Thanks Itachi-san," I said, grinning down at my partner like always.

He looked at me, gave me a soft, "Hn," in reply, and turned towards the forest path, motioning for me to follow. I raised a brow, but did as instructed. Crisis averted.

Nothing much happened on the trip back, until we stopped to eat lunch. As usual, Itachi just walked off the path, heading into the woods and assuming I'd follow him. Of course, I was right behind my partner.  
This was normal for us. I had better endurance than Itachi, so I only took a break when he needed one.

Besides, who's going to argue with an irate, exhausted weasel who could kill you a dozen different ways without batting an eye? Not me, thank you very much.

We were able to find a clearing, and immediately sat down. Itachi took a sandwich out of his bag, reminding me that it was lunch time. After I'd pulled out my own food, I started eating, while watching my partner out of the corner of my eye.

If you've never seen Itachi eat, you're missing out on one of the oddest sights you'll ever see, especially when he's eating finger food. Itachi will only hold his food in his thumb, index, and middle fingers, like he doesn't want the others to get dirty. Adding to this theory is the fact that he'll pick up his food (like a sandwich, in this case) take a bite, set it down, wipe off his fingers, and then start the process again. I'd smirk at the sight, if I wasn't so sure it would get me killed.

What made this stop so odd had little to do with my partner's eating habits. It was different because I finished my food early, and was waiting for Itachi to be done. His little process made him a slow eater, to say the least.

Itachi finally finished his sandwich, after a good fifteen minutes of eating. I was about to stand and go, when he pulled another one out of his bag.

I could have cried.

Instead, I went into shock when he unwrapped it, looked to me, and asked if I wanted half. First Itachi was nice, then he protects me, and now he's offering me food?! There has to be a reasonable explanation in here somewhere.

After a few seconds of thinking, I settled on two options. One; Itachi was crazy. Two; Itachi had poisoned the food.

I didn't have very much time to decide on what to do, because Itachi narrowed his eyes at me right then. Great, he was probably going to kill me anyway if I didn't take the tainted sandwich. Trying to keep my hand from shaking, I took half the food, and bit into it.

I was going to die from eating a poisoned tuna sandwich with too much mayo on it.

Itachi began munching on the other half, which eased my tension only slightly. Perhaps he hadn't tainted it, in case I took the safe half of the sandwich while he got the poison.

Then again, he might have built up a tolerance for whatever deadly chemical was in the food, so it wouldn't matter which half I picked. Hey, I wouldn't put it past Itachi to do something like that!

Our break finally ended when we both finished eating. Itachi rose, and I was quick to follow suit. Nothing felt wrong with me yet. Just as I was beginning to think that things were fine, I got dizzy.

I stopped walking, hoping that it would help the sensation go away. It didn't.

Itachi had stopped walking now, probably because he didn't hear the sounds of my feet behind him. He turned to look at me, frowning. "Kisame?"

I would have answered, but suddenly it was very hard to breathe. Itachi began walking towards me, repeating my name. He was a pretty good actor, I'll give him that.

By the time he got to me, I was gasping for air. The ground suddenly seemed very comfy, and I collapsed. The last thing I remember was Itachi repeating my name, and shaking my shoulder.


	9. Chapter 8

How was I supposed to know Kisame was allergic to wheat?!

…I'll start at the beginning.

I decided to assist the growth of our "friendship" by offering my partner a bit of my food. It was unlikely that I would have been able to consume it all, and Kisame could be a bit of a glutton when he was hungry enough. It seemed as though this was a win-win situation.

Tragically, my theory was proved incorrect when Kisame collapsed.

The first thing I did was contact Pein and request assistance. Kisame was at least twice my size, so I knew that there was no way I could possibly carry him back to the base on my own.

For once our leader was quick to send help, and Zetsu soon arrived on the scene. Unfortunately, all the man would do was argue with himself on whether to help my partner, or simply eat him here and claim the shark was beyond salvation when he'd arrived. It took both my Sharingan eyes and a few well placed burns, but I was finally able to make the plant man come to his senses and assist me.

The trip back consisted of little more than Zetsu's banter and my cursing Kisame's weight, so I'll skip straight to our arrival at the base. Pein, of course, demanded an immediate explanation as to my partner's condition.

At this point, things got tricky. The plain and honest truth was that I had given my partner a sandwich, and shortly thereafter he passed out.

If that story doesn't sound like poisoning to you, you've obviously led a very sheltered life, or are a complete moron. Perhaps both.

So, I tried to save myself a bit of suspicion by giving Sir Leader as many details as I possibly could, including the fact that I'd eaten half the sandwich, how long had passed between my partner consuming the food and collapsing, and of course the contents of the food.

Pein stared at me for a short while, and then, as if it should have been the most obvious thing in the world, told me, "Kisame can't have wheat bread. He's allergic."

Thank you so much for telling me that now, instead of all those years ago when Kisame and I first started working together, oh wise Sir Leader!

By now, Kisame was lying in the medical wing of the hospital, under observation should he have any delayed allergic reactions. Meaning that now, I had to go up there, try and get a moment alone with him, and explain to the man I was deathly afraid of that I had not in fact poisoned him, but simply given him a food he was violently allergic to.

Killing my clan was an atrocity and all, but was it really bad enough to deserve this kind of karma?

Unable to think of any other way out of this situation short of killing myself (which was sounding better and better all the time) I made my way towards the medical wing, grateful that I didn't run in to any of the other members on my way there. Had they said so much as a single word to me about Kisame's present condition, or how the shark was no doubt going to kill me, I probably would have resorted to drastic, painful measures.

I stopped just outside the door that led to the hospital area, taking a brief moment to gather my thoughts and properly prepare the stoic mask that nearly always adorned my face. Deciding at length that I had absolutely nothing to gain by remaining outside my partner's room, I finally turned the knob, allowed the door to swing back, and entered the room.

I bless whatever deities exist for letting the room be empty of any medical personnel when I came in. The only person in the medical wing was the one shinobi I wished to speak with, which saved me quite a bit of trouble.

Kisame was lying on his back in a bed, sheets pulled up to cover him. I'm guessing he was looking away when I entered, and only turned his head towards the door when I stepped in. Our eyes immediately locked, and I had little choice but to shut the door without breaking eye contact.

If there is one thing worse than a face that shows no emotion, it's a face that portrays too many feelings at once. Kisame's was most definitely the latter. He looked angry at me for (accidentally) poisoning him, curious as to what my exact intentions had been and now were, scared that I was here to finish him off since the sandwich hadn't done it, and angry enough to kill me. The last one struck fear into my black heart, but I couldn't back down now. I shut my eyes, more of an attempt to block out his face than anything else, and sighed. "Why didn't you tell me you were allergic to wheat?" I quietly asked. I did my best to keep a scolding tone out of my question, but I'm not sure how well that worked.

"…Huh?" was Kisame's reply. As eloquent as anything I could expect from my partner.

I opened my eyes and spoke again. "I eat my sandwiches on wheat bread, something that you appear to be violently allergic to, as our most recent mission shows. Why did you not inform me of this problem?"

"I never eat anything with wheat in it!" he argued. "Haven't you noticed?"

"No. You've never seen me eat dango, but that doesn't change the fact that I like it." A weak argument in my eyes, but perhaps it would be enough.

Kisame, of course, picked something out of it that I hadn't realized. "You like dango?" he asked in a surprised voice.

I silently cursed myself for letting my partner know that I had any likes or dislikes to begin with, never mind specifically pointing one out! "Yes, as a matter of fact. Does this surprise you?"

"No. Well, yes. Um, you see…"

"You can't specifically recall any time I've ordered dango or not, because you do not make a habit of memorizing my eating habits. I likewise do not follow yours closely. That is why I was unaware of your allergy. And why I now need to know…if there are any other allergies you have. In order to avoid those foods in the future."

Kisame stared at me for a long while. He was probably debating whether I was trying to find some new method for killing him, if he still didn't believe my wheat allergy explanation, or if I was actually trying to show concern for him. At long last, he shook his head. "Very well then." I turned and walked out of the room without another word.

Once in the hallway, I vowed to hang myself before ever doing something like that again.


	10. Chapter 9

I was glad I had to spend a little while in the medical wing of the Akatsuki base. After all, I needed a bit of recovery time from the shocks my partner had just given to me.

First he informs me that no, he hadn't tried to poison me; he'd just given me food that could kill me because he didn't know it was poisonous to me. Itachi not knowing something was a big enough shock, never mind him making a mistake.

Then, he asks me if there are any other allergies he needs to know about, for future reference. If I didn't think the probability of him murdering me was so high, I might have interpreted the move as kindness.

And finally, he admits that there is something in the world he likes! That was probably the biggest shock of all, hearing Itachi say he cares for something. It's very weird, really. It makes Itachi seem like an actual human being, instead of the withdrawn, twisted, sadistic little weasel of a psychopath I know him to be.

So, after that, he walked out. Leaving me to think about everything that had just happened.

I kinda wished Itachi hadn't accidentally given me the wheat. If he had purposefully poisoned me, I could brush this off as hatred and move on. But no, everything had to point to the weasel being nice to me! Which was impossible, seeing as how Itachi was about as loving as a feral cat that had recently been drenched in a bucket of ice water.

Still, he'd come forward and apologized to me. He'd acted as though he cared, and even opened up a bit. Logical conclusion: my partner was sick, and possibly deranged. Other, less likely conclusion: Itachi was being friendly to me, after years of remaining silent and distant.

If those are the kinds of people skills Itachi possesses, it's no wonder he killed his family.

Still thoroughly confused, I decided to sleep, and figure it out later.

-n-

After I got out of the hospital wing, I noticed a change in my partnership with Itachi.

For one thing, when we fought on the battlefield, we weren't just fighting on the same side, we were fighting together. Those things may sound the same, but take it from me; they're entirely different.

See, until this point, when we'd go into a fight, we'd recognize the enemy as being, well, the enemy, and then we'd rush into the fight (or whatever Itachi's plan called for at the time). We'd fight, but it was almost like we were on our own, and just trying to stay out of each other's way during the battle.

Now, however, we were working as the two man cell Pein had created us to be. I could count on a fireball or kunai being thrown by my partner if an enemy got too close, and in exchange I'd try to slice up a few ninjas who got too close to the weasel. He never mentioned it, and I followed suit. Come to think of it, telling Itachi thank you for protecting me probably would have set of some sort of "kill-the-weak-shark-who-needs-your-protection" switch in that evil little mind of his.

Hey, I just said my partner was being helpful. That doesn't change the fact that he's a sadistic little weasel.

Aside from that, we changed our shift schedules. Like, we started letting each other sleep through a shift or two, just to give them some more sleep. I actually started this trend, and Itachi followed my lead. Eventually, we just changed the routine to have two night shifts, instead of four. Makes things a heck of a lot easier for me.

Oh, and then there was the time I fed Itachi.

What had happened was this: Itachi and I were walking back to the base after completing a mission, it was a nice summer day, blah blah blah, we got hungry, and stopped to eat.

My partner led us off the path and into the woods so we wouldn't be seen by any passerbys. Once he thought we were far enough away (roughly a quarter mile from the blasted road) he let us sit down to eat. I had no problem resting on the forest floor, but Itachi chose to sit on a half-rotted log. He probably didn't want his cloak to get messy or something.

Don't tell him I said that.

Well, we both dug into our meals, eating in the comfortable silence I've been accustomed to for years. As usual, I watched Itachi out of the corner of my eyes. I was surprised to se that my partner was taking larger bites than he normally did, and was eating faster than the norm as well. Either he was in a hurry, or was very hungry.

Considering we'd skipped breakfast that morning and eaten an early dinner the night before, my money was on option number two.

In fact, he was completely done in the time it took me to finish half of my food. Noticing that he still looked a little hungry, I offered him one of my riceballs to help satiate his hunger.

Like I expected, he took the food that I'd offered him. Then, just before he took a bite, he seemed to hesitate.

In that instant, I realized what was going through Itachi's mind. Something alone the lines of, "He's still mad at me for the wheat incident, so he's poisoned the riceball and now he's going to finish me off! I must kill him first! Hissss!" Except that it was Itachi's thinking process, so the exact wording was probably a bit more eloquent and complex. I'll bet he still hissed though.

Right, I'm getting off topic.

To my shock, he took a bite of the riceball. I watched in stunned silence as he slowly consumed the rest of the food, before wiping off his fingers and rising to his feet. "We're going now," he said. I watched him take a few steps towards the road, before I regained my senses and climbed to my feet to follow after him.

Itachi, the most paranoid, distrustful, sadist I'd ever met, had just taken food from a person who more than likely had a grudge against him, and eaten it. Either my partner really was going nuts, or he was…dare I say it…beginning to trust me.

To my shock, the latter only sounded slightly impossible. No, I had to kill those thoughts right then and there! Itachi only relied on himself. There was no way he could EVER trust me.

Right?


	11. Chapter 10

It appeared that my brilliant scheme was coming together nicely. Kisame was now assisting me in battle, our shifts had been shortened for each other's convenience, and most of all, I'd shown Kisame a display of trust.

When my partner gave me the riceball, I was more than a bit wary. Perhaps Kisame had not forgotten the wheat incident, and was preparing to take his ironic revenge! Biting back my distrust and a hiss, I ingested the food. To my relief, it was both delicious and nontoxic.

Kisame's shock at my actions did not surprise me. I did not trust people; moreover, I let Kisame know on a near daily basis, through gestures or words, that I most certainly did not trust him. The fact that my partner didn't faint was probably the most surprising thing of all.

I knew what would happen next. After realizing that no, I was not going out of my sadistic little mind, Kisame would come to the conclusion that I was beginning to trust him. I'd show more displays of loyalty, carefully spaced out over the course of weeks or months, and soon enough, he'd return the gesture. Eventually, I would move in, show actual affection, and get him to return my "feelings", at which point in time, the one and only threat to my existence would become putty in the palm of my hand, ready to be crushed or molded as I saw fit to form him!

Sorry, I got a bit carried away there.

In any case, I should get back to the story. Now, after Kisame and I returned to the forest path, we made a relatively uneventful trip back to the base. Once there, I quickly made our report, turned it in to Sir Leader, and went to our room. Kisame was already there, cleaning his sword at the foot of the bed. I said nothing; instead, I silently walked over to my dresser and picked up a book resting on top. I only had about a dozen works of literature, and they were the only written works in this entire base, unless you count mission reports or the labels on cereal boxes. Needless to say, I'd all but memorized every line in my books, and could easily quote each one verbatim, but I still liked to read them every now and again.

Besides, Kisame would no doubt believe I was actually reading a book, so his attention would remain focused on Samehada, thus allowing me a chance to watch him and plot my next move.

For a time, all was quiet. Occasionally, I'd turn a page in the book I wasn't really reading, and Kisame would mumble something under his breath. No doubt it was an obscenity about the flesh still clinging to his sword.

I suppose he grew tired of the silence, because he suddenly halted his cleaning, turned to look at me, and asked, "Itachi, why are you so sadistic?"

Out of the thousands of questions I'd expect to ever hear my partner voice, this was not one of them.

I blinked at him, once, twice, while my mind struggled to find the answer. A few seconds more, and I replied, "Why are you blue?"

No it was his turn to give me a look of sheer disbelief, as if trying to figure out if I had honestly just asked that question. Eventually though, he snorted, and turned to his sword again, grinning while he cleansed it. "That's not something I can help, Itachi."

"My sadistic intentions are the same," I replied. It was true; I didn't ask to be cruel, and I didn't decide that I would get the most joy in life from seeing another in pain. That's just how I am.

And if you have a problem with that, I will not hesitate to cut open your stomach, tear out a few feet of your lower intestine, and strangle you to death as you scream in agony.

As I sat there, thinking about this, a new thought occurred to me. Kisame had just asked me a question about…me. Not my fighting techniques or personal history, but a direct inquiry as to what it was that made me me. No one, not even my own flesh and blood in Konoha, had ever bothered to venture into the uncharted territory of my innermost being.

What did this mean? Was Kisame actually interested in me? Could the shark be attempting to chisel away at the wall that I'd worked so hard to construct between us, and was now trying for some form of friendship?

I inwardly grinned at the thought. If that was indeed the case, my plan was finally coming to fruition. My attempts were not in vain, and finally, he's seeing my movements not as the deranged actions of a psychopath who's finally gone off the deep end, but as a person trying for companionship.

The fool was playing right into my hands. I merely needed to offer up more bait, and draw him in, before snapping my trap and gaining victory at long last.

I know, I overused metaphors again. What are you going to do about it?


	12. Chapter 11

I really don't know what was going through my mind when I asked Itachi why he was a sadist. Not only could it have gotten me killed, but it was painfully obvious that my partner wouldn't give me a straight answer. That is, if he even bothered to answer.

It took Itachi a few moments to come up with a reply. My guess is, he was fighting the urge to kill me, and had to calm himself down before speaking. I was only slightly surprised when he gave me a question for an answer. Well, surprised, and extremely relieved. This meant I wasn't about to die a horribly painful death.

I replied to his question, and he finally replied to mine. So, being a total sadist wasn't something he could help? Can't say that surprised me. Cruelty's in human nature; I guess Itachi felt that more strongly than some people did.

I went back to cleaning my sword, when another thought occurred to me. Itachi had just willingly told another human being something about his personality. Such a feat should have brought on the apocalypse, if nothing else.

All this did, though, was peak my curiosity about my partner. Did he actually have a personality, under that stoic front? Well obviously he had to, since he's human and all. 'Human' being used as loosely as possible, mind you.

So, then and there, as I was scrubbing away at a particularly tough blood stain, I vowed to learn everything I could about Itachi. Maybe then I could figure out what precautions I had to take to keep him from maiming and/or killing me.

A few days later, I snuck into Pein's office and stole Itachi's file. Sir Leader was busy with Konan, doing Kami knows what in their room. Actually, it doesn't take much imagination to guess what they were doing, and it's enough to make me depressed. Not because they're having sex; at least, not exactly. It's just that they're screwing, Sasori's banging Deidara, and I'm pretty sure Kakuzu is doing Hidan, since our resident banker's too cheap to shell out for a whore whenever he gets in the mood. Everyone's getting laid but me; how sad is that?

Oh, right, I was talking about Itachi's file.

Well, the first few pages didn't tell me anything I didn't already know; mostly, it was just reports on the Sharingan, and the murder of his clan. The next few pages talked about his choice of weapons, fighting style, yadda yadda, nothing I didn't already know.

The rest of the file was about the same, and within five minutes the thing was back on Pein's desk. It was probably the biggest waste of time I've ever inflicted on myself. Well, aside from the few times I managed to convince myself to listen to Pein giving Itachi and me information on our missions. Nothing can top that bore fest.

As I made my way back to our room, I realized how much I knew about Itachi that the file didn't even mention. The fact that he was quiet, liked dango, and openly admitted to being a sadist. Those items weren't worth mentioning in that manila folder, but they were true of Itachi nonetheless. They were the little quirks about him that made the weasel…human.

I know what you're thinking. Something along the lines of, "Did he just call Itachi a human being? That can't be right."

Expect that it is. For some reason, after that trip I was able to picture him as a person, instead of just a cold-blooded killer. Itachi had likes and dislikes, thoughts on several subjects, opinions on many more, and at one point in time may have had emotions. Although I'm fairly certain that any feelings my partner may or may not have had are long gone now.

It was weird, at first; to have to share a room with someone whom you thought of as an ingenious yet psychotic murderer for years on end, and then suddenly decide that maybe they actually have a human side. Very weird, to be truthful. Actually, it was downright creepy.

I couldn't help but watch my partner more closely after that. I was desperate to find out anything about Itachi that his file had neglected to mention.

I got an excellent chance to take in Itachi's…Itachiness, I guess you could call it, when we left on our next mission. The assignment involved a long trek halfway across the country, and it would just be Itachi and me. The perfect chance to study the little weasel, in my book.

So, after getting the basic necessities together, we set out for our latest target. I had no clue what we were going to do (once again, I hadn't paid any attention to what Pein was saying. Try listening to that guy talk for a while, and you'll understand why.)

Itachi took the lead, and I followed close behind. The weather was pretty nice; very warm, with a soft breeze blowing every now and again. We were trekking through a forest path, and sunlight filtered down through the trees, illuminating some spots while leaving others in the shade. I didn't pay much attention to the scenery, though; my focus was Itachi.

My partner walked rather stiffly, as if he were prepared for an attack at any moment. He walked lightly along the road, not making a sound as he walked along, and he was dead silent.

I frowned at this. If anything about Itachi disturbs me more than his sadistic nature, it's these long spells of silence from him. He never says much, unless he absolutely has to, and it's not because he's a man of few words (although he kind of is). Itachi just bottles up everything inside of him, and only lets it out when he's mauling his latest victim.

This kind of behavior can't be healthy; either for him, or for me, since there's a damn good chance I might end up as a victim of his one day.

During my meditation, we've exited the forest, and are now walking along a wide, dusty road exposed for all to see. I wish we were back in the forest; it provides better cover, and even with our hats blocking out most of the sunlight, the heat is nearly unbearable out in the open.

Itachi seemed to agree with me. Strange, right? Anyway, when a tea shop appeared in our view, he turned and walked straight in, not saying so much as a single "Hn," to me about this. Oh well; that's Itachi for you.

We sat down, and waited for a woman to come by and take our order. I knew I'd be the one talking to the waitress (and if that wasn't obvious, you too may want to stop somewhere and get out of the sun for a while) and asked Itachi what he wanted to eat. He shrugged, and turned his head to silently watch the people around us eat. I narrowed my eyes, and sighed inwardly. Great, now I had to come up with something for him to eat.

Just then, I remembered the talk we'd had a while back in our room. He liked dango! I realized this just in time, because right then a girl walked up and asked us what we'd like. I placed the orders, and waited.

When the food arrived, Itachi waited until the woman had departed before so much as sparing his plate a glance. When he looked down, his eyes widened slightly, before gently moving to look up at me. "You said you liked dango, right?" I asked as nonchalantly as I possibly could.

He nodded and picked up the sweet treat, gently nibbling on the sweet. His eyes traveled to my plate, before going back up to me. "You like gyoza, then?"

I nearly choked on the aforementioned dumpling I was eating. Had Itachi honestly just asked me a question about what I liked?! "Yeah, actually," I answered calmly.

"Seems odd," he commented.

"What, were you thinking I'd like sushi?" I jokingly replied.

To my shock, a smile briefly darted across his face, before he shook his head and returned his attention to the sweet in his hand.

As I continued to eat, it occurred to me that for the first time in, well, ever, I had just had a conversation with my partner. Moreover, I'd seen Itachi _smile_.

Well well. It appeared Itachi Uchiha was capable of emotions after all.


	13. Chapter 12

At first, all I felt was this unusual feeling in my stomach. I wondered if perhaps our server had somehow managed to spike my dango, or if my partner had done something to me whilst my attention was elsewhere. And then, all of a sudden, I realized that the funny feeling was humor. My partner had entertained me enough to extract a smile from me.

I can't remember the last time I'd felt the urge to smile or laugh at something other than a human being's pain. The fact that a mere joke could get this reaction from me was interesting. A bit worrisome, but interesting nonetheless.

Not wanting to show too much emotion, I decided to focus on consuming my dango quickly, so that we could soon return to the road. Kisame, for whatever reason, seemed to pick up on this and hurriedly ate his own food. We finished our meal, paid for the consumed items, and departed once again for our target.

If the sun had been unpleasant when we began our journey, it was completely unbearable by the time we exited the teahouse. I decided that it would be in our best interest to forsake the beaten path, and led my partner into the forest. In only a matter of moments, the two of us were racing through the treetops. The only downside was that Kisame was again following me, meaning that I was unable to keep my eyes on him. Still, I highly doubted my partner had half an idea as to where we were going, which left little choice in the matter of who followed whom.

Our trek was both long and uneventful, thus presenting me with the perfect opportunity to construct a decent plan of attack. We would be infiltrating a fortress this time, and had been told to murder everyone inside. These particular people had done little to deserve this sort of retribution, but the Akatsuki's influence over the region had waned as of late, and a message had to be sent: fear the Akatsuki, or perish.

From what I understood, the easiest way for this mission to succeed would involve Kisame charging in and using a combination of his water jutsus and swordsmanship to directly attack our enemies, whilst I stayed back a distance and used a combination of fire and gen jutsus to annihilate the remaining men. Not the most complex of plans, if you put it in those terms.

Add in the fact that the compound is nearly impossible to enter undetected, filled to the brim with trained soldiers, and if even one man escapes you'll have reinforcements coming out of the woodwork, and suddenly it doesn't seem so pleasant.

I shook my head, and began planning the exact details of our attack.

After several days of travel, we finally reached the compound. Thick, stone walls nearly as tall as those protecting Konoha surrounded the giant steel tower we'd been sent to conquer. Sentries walked along the top of the barricade, eyeing the ground for any signs of movement. Even my Sharingan eyes couldn't find so much as a crack in the walls, nor any signs that the guards were anything but completely alert to their surroundings. It's a good thing I made us wait until late in the night to move in; a single ounce of daylight would have given away our position in an instant.

I could hear my partner shift his weight, trying to control his breathing. I almost smirk at this; even the most gifted ears in the world couldn't have heard us from this distance.

Kisame grabbed the handle of Samehada, and froze. He was waiting for my signal. We wouldn't move until I gave the go-ahead, no matter how long that took, or how unbearable our bloodlust became. We were killers, through and through, and had been stagnant for far too long. It was time for us to battle and spill the blood of our enemies once more. Just the thought of their tortured cries was nearly enough to make me lose it. But, as always, logic won out, and I beat back my desire to kill. At least, for the time being.

I watched the patrolmen walk past two, five, and finally ten times before I was certain about their routes and how long it took each of them to get from point A to point B. I leaned forward, and took off for the gates.

Kisame followed, fast on my heels. We'd moved in; now, we were free to kill as we pleased.

The battle itself was long, gruesome, and filled to the brim with death. Just as I'd hoped it would be. I was able to trap several people in the Tsukiyomi, but most fell victim to been burned alive.

I turned my head to watch my partner fight below me. As soon as we'd cleared the wall, he'd gone right in and started hacking away within the center of the compound. I had remained on the wall, running along the edges and quickly massacring any opponents that I caught sight of.

I inwardly smirked as Kisame drowned yet another man. This so-called impenetrable fortress had made a horrible mistake by surrounding itself with a circular wall; it allowed Kisame to summon huge amounts of water, which now made the tower appear halfway submerged in some sort of great lake. It also forced all of his opponents to fight on the water. Heaven help whatever doomed soul has to fight a shark on or in the water.

As the battle raged on, the number of enemies dwindled quickly in a considerably short span of time. I thought I was on my last man, when a flicker of movement caught my attention. Cursing silently, I finished off my current adversary and chased after the shadowy form.

The hunt eventually led me to the ground outside the grounds of the fort, and onto the forest floor, where I was able to find, capture, torture, and kill the fleeing soldier. I would not mention this, were it not for something that happened immediately afterwards.

As I was turning to return to the battlefield and help my partner finish up (if there were any people left to finish, that is), a sudden cracking noise caught my attention. I turned, and with the help of my Sharingan eyes, was able to locate a crack in the wall, with water steadily pouring out of it.

It seemed that the wall wasn't as sturdy as I originally thought, since all that was needed to break it was the pressure of a few thousand gallons of water.

The crack grew in size in only a short while, and before I realized it, the rock wall had shattered completely, and I was about to be swept away by the surge of water.

Except that I wasn't. Because at that moment, something slammed into my side and yanked me away to safety.

When I finally realized that I was not about to drown, I took a moment to observe my surroundings. I was in a tree. As was my partner. My partner's arm was wrapped tightly around my waist, and he was holding me close to his chest. A chest that my face also happened to be buried in.

Never have I been more grateful for the darkness than I was at that moment in time. Had it been daylight, Kisame would have been able to see the blush covering my face that I could feel, even if I couldn't see it. My heart was thudding, mostly because I was certain that if he held me any tighter, he'd snap my spine. "Kisame, let go," I ordered in the calmest tone I could muster at the time.

He released me as if I had burned him, and began muttering a stream of apologies. To which I not too politely told him to quiet himself, and began walking in the direction of our base.

This was going to be a long journey.


	14. Chapter 13

I was dead. That's all there was to it.

Actually, I was beyond dead. Not only had I invaded my partner's personal space, but I'd rushed up, grabbed onto him, and dragged him into a treetop. If I was murdered in a way that was only excruciatingly painful, I'd count myself lucky.

Right then, I was cursing my choice to save Itachi. Why the hell did I step in?! Surely the little weasel could have gotten out of the way in time without my interference, right?

But some little part of me said no. Some little voice said that for the first time that I could remember, Itachi had been caught off-guard, and had it not been for my actions, he would have been swept away by the current.

Nice going, stupid inner voice. I was about to be violently murdered because of you.

But something kept bugging me. A tiny detail about my rescue that broke through all the fears of painful death, and the self-reprimanding of my actions.

You see, when Itachi and I were standing in the tree branches, I could feel his heart pounding against my chest. Not in the way a heart beats when its owner has been exercising or anything like that, but when a person in startled or mortified. Don't ask me how I know the difference; it's a long story that I would _really_ rather not go into right now.

This brought a whole new problem to light. My partner has been stoic for ages, and within the span of the last few months, he's suddenly decided to be civil to me, smile, and now get scared/embarrassed! What was wrong with Itachi?

I started thinking, and realized that nothing was wrong with Itachi; it was actually the opposite. My partner was starting to act human, instead of being an emotionless robot like he'd been for so long. This only seemed messed up because I was used to my partner's normal, antisocial attitude. All I would need would be a little time to adjust to this new Itachi. Which wasn't likely to happen, since he was probably going to murder me in less than twenty-four hours. Oh well. I lived a long and full life, with not too many regrets.

A few more miles down the road, Itachi stopped walking and turned to face me. I gulped and waited for the torture to commence. Goodbye, cruel world; I knew ye well.

My partner looked somewhat annoyed and slightly frazzled. He stared at me for a time, and then took a deep breath before speaking to me. "Would you mind calming down? I'm not going to kill you."

So, I would be spared death in favor of violent maiming then?

"I am extremely irritated with myself that I could be caught unawares on the battlefield. Much as I hate to openly admit it, had it not been for your assistance, things could and would have ended badly for me because of my negligence. Thank you."

Itachi was thanking me. Wait, Itachi was thanking me?! Itachi does not show gratitude; hell, up until now I didn't think he knew the meaning of the word. Yet here he was, acting grateful that I'd saved him from being drowned. I was starting to believe I may come out of this intact.

"However," (oh crap) "I doubt that this will happen again, so please be aware that the next time we are in a situation like that, it's unlikely that I will need your help, and I very well may hurt you if you try to aid me."

I was being let off with a warning? Oh thank Kami!

I assured Itachi that it wouldn't happen again, and he 'Hn'ed in an accepting manner. The rest of our trip went rather peacefully, and was filled with my silently thanking every higher power in existence for sparing me what could have been a cruel fate.

Our arrival back at the base was routine enough. We'd come in early in the morning, which meant that soon the others would be up and leaving for their missions, while Itachi and I settled down in our room to sleep. My partner dropped off the report in Pein's office while I went straight to our room to undress and sleep. There's no way I was taking first watch today.

I'd just finished stripping down, when Itachi came into the room. He pulled off his cloak and neatly folded it up while I began cleaning Samehada and watched him from the corner of my eye like I often did.

He was completely silent as he undressed; first kicking off his shoes and setting them by the foot of our bed, then slipping out of his capris and folding them as well, and finally getting rid of his shirt-I started when Itachi removed the last article of clothing.

There, sitting just above his waist, were a couple of dark bruises. "You're hurt," I muttered before I could stop myself.

Immediately he turned to face me, and in that instant I knew I was a dead shark. Itachi had been kind enough to spare me, and I'd gone and revealed that I watched him while he undressed. Torturous murder, here I come.

To my surprise, he replied to my statement with a soft, almost inaudible question. "How bad is it?"

I stared at him for a few seconds before my legs carried me to the foot of the bed, where he is now sitting. I looked over the bruises yet was careful not to touch my partner's injuries, frowning all the while. These wounds, though not serious, would take a bit of time to heal up.

His eyes were glued to me, watching my every move. "You're gonna be sore for a while, but it's nothing too major." He nodded at my words. "How'd you get these?" I asked in a curious tone.

He looked away, and seconds later I mentally kicked myself. Those bruises had to be from where I grabbed him on the battlefield. No one else could have gotten that close to the weasel.

I chuckled and smiled weakly. "Guess I don't know my own strength." He said nothing, and the smile fell from my face. "I'm sorry, Itachi. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He nodded again, and quietly asked if I would please take the first watch. Two minutes ago I would have said no, but now, how could I refuse anything from my partner, whom I had physically harmed?

I told him of course I would, and he quickly crawled into the bed, pulling the covers up to his chin with his back turned to me.

For the first time in ages, I felt guilty about hurting someone. Not only injuring another human being, but my partner; the man who I lived in fear of daily. It sounded strange, even to my ears, but it was the honest truth.

I let Itachi sleep for hours, and didn't wake him until mid-afternoon. During that time, I remained deep in thought, and finally came to the conclusion that although I feared Itachi with every fiber of my being, I never wanted to harm him again.


	15. Chapter 14

For those of you out there who are unable to grasp the blatantly obvious, I'll go right ahead and say that my scheme was not going according to plan.

On one hand, my partner had protected me on the battlefield, so he was definitely becoming more attached to me. On the other hand, he had broken one of our numerous unspoken rules, and made physical contact with my body. Moreover, he had _harmed_me. This in and of itself was not necessarily a huge setback, despite being my fears realized.

He had without a doubt acted out of desire to keep me safe, but had not thought to restrain himself in the process. As a result, I had contusions on my lower back, from where I had been manhandled by him. Yes, I said manhandled. What are you going to do about it?

I decided not to bring up my injuries, and simply return to the base in the hopes of allowing our partnership to return to its previous state of only necessary communication, no friendliness, nothing but the barest items required for a partnership. My plan simply had to be abandoned. If _this_ was how Kisame showed his affections for me, I could likely end up dead trying to prevent him from killing me.

Of course things couldn't be that easy, as that night later proved to me.

You see, I was fully aware that my partner observed my actions at night; we couldn't trust each other, after all, so constant observation was required. For reasons that need not be stated, we never brought it up.

But that night, he broke **yet another** unwritten code and mentioned the bruises that I had been attempting to conceal from his gaze.

When I spun around to confront him about this, I could distinguish a terrified look in his eyes. He knew as well as I did that he had overstepped his boundaries by opening his mouth and speaking then. Under normal circumstances, I would have brutally slaughtered him for admitting to watching me while I undressed. However, I was partially to blame here, both for allowing such behavior to persist, and not taking more care to veil my blackening marks from his eyes. So, I'd have to settle for maiming several small animals tomorrow instead.

Suddenly, the metaphorical light bulb went off in my head. Despite having Sharingan eyes, I did not possess the ability to rotate my neck like an owl, and thus could not see the full extent of my injuries. Kisame, on the other hand, was in the perfect position to look over my wounds. Plan in hand, I inquired as to my physical state.

He responded by sitting on the end of our shared mattress, calmly looking at my bruises but refusing to even brush his hand against the wounds. It was a good thing too, because even my patience had its limits, and at that point more physical contact would have sealed his fate.

I nodded when he informed me that the wounds were only superficial, satisfied with the report. And then, he confirmed my suspensions of his mental inferiority to me by inquiring as to how I received these injuries. How dumb can you…but, I digress.

Had I made eye contact then, I probably would have snapped, so I tactfully looked away. He seemed to realize the origin of my wounds at that, and started laughing at his foolishness. I failed to find any humor in the situation, and remained silent. He stopped laughing then, and apologized for his actions. I accepted, requested that he keep lookout first tonight. Afterwards, I crawled into our bed, intent on sleeping.

As I lay there, I thought about Kisame's apology. No one else ever takes the time to say they're sorry to me; not my family members when they were alive, not my friends (well, when I had friends) and most certainly not the other Akatsuki members. It was odd, to think that the man I feared so much was also the only human being on the planet who ever had, and ever would, show me an ounce of respect.

Perhaps I could still be a little friendly to him.

-n-

Over the next few weeks, my new plan disintegrated. The blasted shark would not simply let the incident die, and kept trying to "make it up" to me!

Always he would start conversations, ask if I wanted to train with him, and the like! Had our years together taught him nothing about my solitary lifestyle, my antisocialness, my-I need to stop there, before I strangle something.

At first, I was firm in my resolve to break apart the relationship I'd forged between us, and said barely anything in reply, never accepting his offers. He persisted, and eventually I gave him more than two syllables for an answer. Eventually, I even sparred with him.

This in no way, shape, or form means that things between us became any better. I was on high alert now, for any signs that I could accidentally be harmed by Kisame again.

Despite my best efforts, though, I was completely unable to stop another incident from happening.

It occurred during one of those blasted days were I was imprudent enough to accept an offer to train with Kisame outside of our base. I took him up on the offer mainly because I was unable to think up an appropriate excuse within an acceptable time frame, and had nothing better to do at the moment. And so, moments later, he and I were outside the base in a small clearing, surrounded by trees and silence.

It had been a long while since I'd trained with my katana, and brought the weapon along with me. As always, my behemoth of a partner had Samehada in his hands, and looked ready for a fight. We had both forsaken our cloaks, due to the summer sun beating down on us from above, and now stood facing each other on the battlefield.

For a few moments, nothing happened. Then, he lunged at me. I knew he would be the one to make the first move; every instant he waited gave me more time to formulate a plan. I didn't even attempt to block him; it would have been useless. Rather, I ducked and rolled, before coming up and swinging my blade at his exposed back. He moved out of the way, and attempted to attack again. The fight was on.

Many ideas or rules are made by the two of us, yet never spoken aloud. During that fight, another unsaid rule was made; for that battle, there would be no special techniques. Only hand to hand combat.

Of course Kisame would have the advantage in such a situation, but I was not about to back down from such a challenge. Still, I could only do so much against a tai jutsu specialist like Kisame, and thus spent most of the battle dodging. Our fight went on for hours like that, until two fatal mistakes were made.

The first occurred when I made a faulty step. The second was when Kisame temporarily forgot he was sparring with his partner, and not an actual opponent on the battlefield. So, when I nearly tripped, Kisame wasted no time in slamming his sword into my side.

On the bright side, it didn't shred my torso to pieces. That's because when it collided with my body, I was sent flying into a nearby tree from the force with only minor cuts.

I slammed into the plant with enough force to knock the air out of my lungs. As I slid down to the ground, trying to catch my breath, I heard Kisame swear and drop his sword to the ground. Forsaking his weapons, he ran to my side, and crouched down by me. "Itachi, where'd I hurt you?!" He didn't ask if I was hurt. He knew he'd harmed me, and skipped straight to asking where he had injured me.

This reminded me of him apologizing. I can't remember the last time someone had bothered to ask me about my wellbeing. If I had ever been hurt back in the days of being a Konoha ninja, I would be expected to heal up and then get right back into the field. I was not someone that needed to be worried about, so no one ever bothered to.

This concern for me was a bit of a shock, and could possibly be the only thing that kept me from killing my partner for this physical harm. "My torso," I answered simply. My shoulder was bleeding as well, but the crimson liquid dripping down my arm made that plain to him.

Kisame looked me over for a few moments, actually crossing the line again to touch me with his fingers as he probed various spot where he believed he had broken or cracked a bone, before helping me to my feet and escorting me back into the base to have Kakuzu give me a more thorough examination, as well as stitch up my shoulder. All the while he was saying, "I'm sorry," again and again. It became very annoying, and I finally told him none-too-kindly to be quiet.

When we finally located Kakuzu within the walls of the Akatsuki hideout, he was arguing with Hidan over some trivial matter, and it took Kisame a good five minutes to get them to stop arguing long enough to focus his attention on me.

I was seated on their bed within moments, and Kakuzu began the slow process of looking over my injuries. His touch held none of the caution or concern of Kisame's hands; it was as rough and cold as any doctor's. He muttered something about my wounds, and then promptly stitched my shoulder back together. After confirming that my partner hadn't broken any bones, he dismissed us from the room, and promptly began arguing with his partner again once we were in the hall. How those two get along with each other long enough for sex will forever be beyond me.

"Itachi?"

I turned around in the hallway, and raised a brow. My partner was shifting from foot to foot, and slowly held out a balled up piece of clothing for me. "You left your shirt outside."

I looked at him for a few brief moments before the words finally sank in. when they did, I calmly yet quickly extended my hand and grabbed my clothing. As I snatched my shirt, my fingers briefly brushed against his hand.

I didn't outwardly react to the contact, and he tried to do the same. In seconds, my shirt was back on, and I was heading back to our room, while Kisame ventured outside to retrieve our weapons from where they'd been discarded.

Although the touch was brief, the feel of his skin against my own, as well as the strange look in his eyes I saw as we made contact shattered my new plan into a thousand pieces, and convinced me to return to my original scheme. I may become injured at some point in time, but my plan could still work.


	16. Chapter 15

By now, I had come to the conclusion that deep down, Itachi was a very forgiving person. Because if he didn't have a tiny ounce of mercy in his black heart, I would be dead right now.

I had tried to do the right thing after hurting him; be nicer, friendly, and overall remorseful for my actions. In retrospect, Itachi would probably have been just as happy if I'd left him alone, but tragically I can't turn back time. Very, VERY tragically.

Whenever I spar, I completely let loose. This can be a good thing, because since I never hold back I always know my exact limits. On the flip side, this also translates into me being unable to control my movements in a fight, and more often than not, my sparring partner gets hurt. This worst case scenario didn't occur to me when I decided to fight with Itachi; the guy rarely leaves the battlefield with a hair out of place!

So, when Samehada actually made contact with him and sent the weasel flying, I nearly fainted. As it stands, that little fiasco probably took five years off my life from the resulting stress, but that's beside the point. I think.

My immediate reaction was 1) swear like the sailors I'd been raised around, and 2) rush over and assess the damage. I knew he was hurt; there's no way you can come into contact with my sword and not get injured.

I was quick to get him out of his shirt to look over his body. I knew how to find broken or cracked ribs just by touching, and dared to cross the line and feel for damaged bones on my partner's ribcage. Yet another act of mercy was shown to me when Itachi didn't slaughter me for the touch. Not to mention this probing session proved to me that Itachi's skin was as soft as I-err, I mean, moving on!

Once I was fairly certain he wasn't going to internally bleed to death or anything, we got up and headed inside so our resident banker/medic could check him out. I kept apologizing the whole way in, and didn't stop until Itachi told me to, "Shut the hell up before I rip out your throat and feed it to you."

I'm guessing he was a bit upset.

Now, once we were inside Kakuzu and Hidan's room (and had gotten the two of them to stop arguing long enough for Kakuzu to give Itachi an examination) I backed off, hopefully slipping out of my partner's thoughts as the banker gave him a quick once over.

It was then that I noticed something strange. Whenever Kakuzu touched him, the weasel would flinch or frown or something. However, when I had been the one to look him over, he'd acted as though I wasn't even touching him. How weird.

Once the two of us were thrown out so the love birds could go back to fighting, we walked down the hallway towards our room. Around that time, I realized I had grabbed Itachi's shirt on our way in, and still hadn't returned it. Nervously, I called Itachi's attention to the matter.

He turned to look at me, then at his shirt. His brows rose up in surprise, like the guy wasn't aware that he was parading around the base topless. Quickly, he snatched the shirt from my hands. As he did, he managed to brush his fingers against my hand.

He didn't even bat an eye, and I tried to do likewise; but I couldn't help but note that even his fingers were soft, despite years of training that should have produced calloused hands. Maybe that was the real reason why Itachi was so fond of gen jutsus; he just didn't want to ruin his soft, silky skin. Primadonna.

Around this time, I realized our weapons were still outside. Without a word I dismissed myself to go and get them. I needed some fresh air anyway to clear my head.

I promptly arrived at the training grounds, flopped down onto the dirt, and wandered why the hell I was not dead, and was getting these weird feelings around Itachi. Weird feelings _for_ Itachi.

Whoa. Slow down. I did not, under any circumstances nor by any stretch of the imagination care for Itachi. He was evil, sadistic, malicious, distant, cute-pretend I never added that last adjective, ok?

No, I couldn't actually be feeling things for someone who wanted to kill me. Don't get me wrong, some psychos out there might find that a huge turn on, but I was not among them.

Yet I could still feel the Uchiha's skin against my own; still see the look on his face when it was Kakuzu, and not me, touching him. And, for a second or less, I could've sworn I saw a flash of something other than indifference in Itachi's eyes when we brushed fingertips.

Well great. At this rate, I was going to turn gay for the one person on this planet who wouldn't hesitate to kill me if I breathed too much in his general direction. This has to be karma for becoming a mass murderer; I'm starting to think everyone around here's got bad karma. Kakuzu, Zetsu and Sasori have to endure annoying partners; and said partners are doomed to take it up the ass for all eternity.

Sorry, rambling again. Kami, I need to get laid…

Well, long story short, I grabbed the weapons, went back to our room, and gave Itachi his katana. He nodded, and then acted as though I wasn't even there. That was fine by me.

Time passed, and about a week or so later he and I were sent on an assignment. Nothing special; as per usual, I paid no attention to our briefing whatsoever. One of these days, I think Pein's going t catch on; until then, I'm safe.

We were on the road within the hour, and walking through the forest surrounding our base. Don't ask me why we were walking along, instead of running through the trees; Itachi was the one leading, not me. We traveled in a comfortable silence for hours on end, until the sun went down and we had to make camp.

I was quick to gather firewood, which Itachi used to make a small campfire. We soon had our dinner cooked, and eaten thereafter. There was nothing much else to do, except keep an eye out for enemies. We hadn't been able to locate a cave to sleep in; they're a bit hard to find when you're completely surrounded by nothing but trees for miles. This left us open and vulnerable on all sides; something both of us hated.

I lay down with my back to the fire; moments later, Itachi crawled over and lay with his back to me. In situations like this, we often sat or rested with our backs to each other. It wasn't a perfect defense, but it made things a hell of a lot harder for potential enemies if they wanted to sneak up on us.

I whispered to Itachi that I'd take the first shift; it wasn't like I was expecting him to volunteer or anything, and if he was reclining next to the fire, he'd fall asleep soon anyway.

He gave me a little 'hn' in reply, and for a while nothing seemed out of the ordinary about our arrangement. That is, until Itachi began scooting closer to me.

Naturally, I assumed we were about to be attacked, and braced myself for a word of warning from my partner. What I most certainly did NOT expect was for the little weasel to keep scooting until our backs were pressed together, and stay there.

What the hell!? I was so shocked/amazed/something else I can't name that I stiffened up like a statue, and my heart started beating crazy fast. I could feel his heartbeat, calm as always; wait, that meant he could feel mine. Uh-oh.

"Kisame, what is it?" he asked softly.

I racked my brain for a viable excuse; or anything that wasn't me admitting that my heart was going haywire because the psychopath I may or may not like as more than a partner was snuggling against me. "Check over there," I ordered. "I thought I saw something."

Instantly he sat up, peering over my resting frame as his Sharingan eyes clawed their way through the dark. I breathed a sigh of relief; that is, until he swore and jumped to his feet.

I couldn't believe it. Someone was really there? My question was answered seconds later when a knife flew through the air, and nearly sliced off part of my ear. That was a yes.

Immediately we were on our feet and in the battle. Itachi had the clear advantage in this fight; his Sharingan saw all, be it night or day. I was having a rougher time of it, but still managed to add a few kills to my already lengthy murder list. From the sight and sounds of it, Itachi was enjoying himself as well. A bit too much, as it turned out.

I don't know how it happened, but my partner managed to miss a certain ninja creeping closer and closer to him, until the man was nearly upon Itachi. He had a couple of nasty looking blades with hooked edges; the kind of weapon that's designed to catch onto a person, and then tear out pieces of their skin. Nasty, really.

He kept moving towards my partner, and I was sure Itachi was going to notice and torture the guy soon. When he didn't seem to even realize there was a new presence until the man's weapons were raised to swing at my partner. Without thinking, I did the only thing that seemed halfway sensible at the time.

I charged forward and positioned myself between the attacker and Itachi, using Samehada to block one shot, while the other blade caught in my side.


	17. Chapter 16

There is no way I can possibly justify what happened that night, except to say that I became so caught up in my sadistic pleasures that I failed to notice the obvious.

You see, this was an entirely different scenario than the incident that had transpired not but a few months ago, wherein I was stabbed by that kunoichi. That time, I'd let my guard down, because I'd been relying on Kisame to take care of his victims. This time, the fault rested squarely on my own shoulders.

As I was toying with my most recent foe (by which I mean mentally peeling off his skin, layer by layer and drinking in his sweet, agonized cries of despair), another one crept up on me, sporting weapons that I'd only seen in the torture chamber known as the Tsukiyomi. I failed to see him until it was too late for me to react. Luckily, the same could not be said for Kisame. Before the blades could even scratch my skin, my partner had leapt between myself and the attacker, using his own body as a shield.

My immediate reaction was to look down and see how much damage had been inflicted on Kisame. His sword had blocked one weapon, which was a small blessing. The other one, however, had buried itself fairly deeply in my partner's side, and looked as though it had pierced the hip bone. Kisame didn't cry out, so I tucked away the knowledge that this sort of attack to the pelvic area produces little pain. At least, compared to some injuries I could come up with on my own. But more on torture methods later.

My next move was predictable; kill the bastard. A kunai was in my hands a moment later, and not a second after that it had been hurled into the ninja's eye. Tragically, I used too much force, and the blade went straight through the optic organ and punctured his brain. I'd been hoping to give the man a long, painful death for what he'd done, but no matter.

Once I'd confirmed his death, my attention immediately returned to Kisame. He was crouching down on the ground, clutching at his still-bleeding side. The weapon had been removed while I disposed of his attacker, but he'd yet to have time to tend to his wound. Not saying a word, I brushed his hands aside and began seeing to the injury.

A quick brush of my fingertips over the area relieved my worst worries; no bones had been hit. No, the cold, cruel steel weapon had merely sunk into his side, and had not even had time to rip out a hunk of his flesh, tearing away the fragile muscle beneath, and giving the blade's wielder a clean shot to swing again and twist the knife upwards, thereby catching onto the delicate ribcage and tearing out the milky white bones underneath, causing the victim excruciating pain and-sorry, I got a bit carried away there.

Ahem. Anyway, I'd thought to bring along a medical kit on this assignment, knowing we'd encounter ninja. Pein's assignment had been to patrol the grounds within a twenty mile radius of the base; he had reason to believe that a band of ninja were closing in on the location of our hideout, and thus posed a threat to our organization. Our orders were simple; look around, kill any humans and threatening wildlife, ect.

As we made camp that night, I'd decided to be a little more forward than usual and tried to sleep back to back to Kisame. Naturally, when I felt his heart beating far faster than the norm, I questioned what was wrong, expecting news of the searched-for attackers. He confirmed my fears when he asked me to observe our surroundings with my eyes, and I saw our adversaries. He must have known to keep an eye out for them; else wise, I doubt he would have noticed them under the cover of night. Well well. It appeared that Kisame was learning to pay attention when we were briefed.

As the thoughts rushed through my head, my hands began bandaging my partner's wounds, wrapping the snow-colored gauze around his torso again and again. When I finally stopped the patch job, (which would have to last until we returned to the base and had Kakuzu stitch Kisame back together), my arms were wrapped around him in an almost hug. There was an awkward moment between us, and then my arms were back at my sides. I calmly informed Kisame that we could now head back to the base, and rose to my feet. The sooner we packed, the sooner we could leave this godforsaken wilderness and return to the semi-comfortable existence of the civilized world. "Shouldn't we finish the mission?" Kisame immediately inquired.

I gave him a look that teacher's normally reserve for students that have asked a particularly stupid question. What did he think we'd been doing just then?! Suddenly, the truth dawned on me. There could only be one explanation for Kisame's rapid heartbeat, his inquiring as to something in the forest, and then asking me if we needed to finish our assignment.

His ninja instincts had kicked in, and he was suspicious of other bands of fiends hiding themselves away in the forest.

An honest mistake, to be certain, but it was still enough to make me frown. Calmly, I reminded him that Pein had sent us out to fine _one_ band, not multiple groups, that posed a threat to us.

He blinked, and muttered a soft, "Oh," in response, whilst I could only shake my head and return to the packing. He soon joined me, and not but a few moments after that, we were off again. I chose against taking the lead; instead, I walked alongside Kisame in a defensive position.

During our trek, he shied away from my side constantly; I merely returned as soon as the gap was noticed. Finally, after the fifth or so time that this happened, I told him to quit moving away, though not as kindly as that.

"Sorry Itachi-san. It's just...erm..." his eyes flicked down to the knife in my palm, before returning to my face.

Suddenly, it clicked. "Do you honestly think I'm going to hurt you?" If you've ever seen a deer suddenly blinded by a great flash of light, paralyzed and unable to escape, you'll understand the look I saw on Kisame's paler than usual face then.

At that moment, I had to make a decision. What I was about to say may or may not reassure my partner; but it would definitely increase my chances of being harmed by him, if he was ever given the opportunity. "Kisame," I began, trying my best to keep my voice from wavering, "if I wanted to hurt or kill you, I would have done so long ago during one of countless opportunities that any assassin would have leapt at. As it stands, I have absolutely no intention of harming you."

Too late I realized that my bandaging job had been flawed, and his wound must have reopened and bled badly, because not a second after I finished my speech, the anemically pale shark fainted dead away.


	18. Chapter 17

Before I continue with the story, I need to explain something.

I did not faint. Children spooked by something they saw in the shadows when older kids dared them to enter the local graveyard after midnight faint. Girly girls who've just received news that the love of their lives has died faint. Old folks who've been out in summertime heat too long faint. But highly trained, S-rank criminals **do not faint**.

What really happened was this. As we were returning to the base, Itachi insisted on sticking to me like glue. As such, the knife he was carrying in his hands kept poking me. It wasn't painful, since I had both my cloak and several layers of bandages between the weapon and my skin, but what do you normally do when something's poking you? Right, you move away from it.

Of course the paranoid side of the weasel took this the wrong way, and demanded that I quit moving before he was forced to "sever one of your legs so you _can't_ move away." I was about to explain the problem to Itachi, but then looked at the knife and decided to keep my yap shut. What was I supposed to say?! "Itachi, I'm grateful for your protection and all, but you keep stabbing me, so could you kindly back off a bit or put up the knife?"? I happened to want to live long enough to see the next morning, thank you very much.

Once again, he took this the wrong way, and inquired as to whether or not I thought he was going to hurt me. My first thought was something along the lines of, "Oh crap," but with a lot more expletives. My second thought was to keep my mouth shut, because there was no right answer to that.

And then, he shocks me and says he has no intention of hurting me. Huh? And again I say, huh?

Itachi hurts things. Itachi likes to hurt things. Yet I, the person who's done more than most people to merit a painful demise by his hands, is someone he doesn't want to harm. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! It makes no sense. That's like an evil cat that chases down helpless mice, yet refuses to hurt the big, fat mouse with no legs that's right in front of him! Except I'm not fat. And I have my legs. And Itachi's more of a weasel...I really should leave the metaphors to him.

Obviously, my mind needed peace and quiet to comprehend this message, like deep meditation. As such, my brain quickly shut down my body to cut off all unnecessary uses of my mind (such as maintaining consciousness) and reduced my body to a near comatose state similar to that of a possum playing dead in the middle of the road.

As you can see, this was CLEARLY different from fainting.

Well, I woke up from my...meditation spell a while later, back in the base. Not surprisingly, I was in the hospital wing. I looked around at my surroundings, trying to see if Kakuzu or anyone was around. Nothing to my left, nothing up ahead- and then I saw him.

Itachi Uchiha was sitting in a chair beside my bed, reading a book with a bored expression on his face. "You're up," he murmured, eyes never even leaving the page.

I gave him a small hum in reply, still not really sure why he was in here. "Have you been here long?" I asked.

He nodded slightly. "Ever since you fainted, which was roughly 18 hours ago."

I was about to correct him on the whole fainting thing, when he mentioned how long I'd been out. "You've just been sitting there reading the whole time?!"

"Hn."

"...That was thoughtful." He nodded, and calmly turned the page in his book. "Seriously though, Itachi...thanks."

He finally turned his head to look at me, and gave me a surprised look, like I should have expected him to wait for me here instead of in our room like he normally did after I'd been hurt. "You're welcome."

Of course Kakuzu walked in right then and told us to "Cut the sweet talk, lovebirds." Itachi calmly informed him that we were not love birds, added a death threat should Kakuzu ever refer to us as that again, and then went back to reading.

But then, when our resident banker started to redo my bandages, Itachi kept looking up at him, and I could swear he was glaring at Kakuzu. For what, touching me? That couldn't have been it. Then again, given Itachi's odd behavior lately, anything was possible.

While Kakuzu was redoing the gauze on my side, Itachi came closer to see the banker at work. And by closer, I mean he climbed onto the bed and got on his hands and knees to peer over my lap and look at the banker's handiwork. I was starting to think that my partner, although demanding plenty of personal space around himself, had no problem invading the space of others.

After Kakuzu finished up and left, I expected Itachi to either go to our room, or return to his seat. Ever the one to surprise me, he did neither, and instead stretched out beside me to nuzzle his face into my pillow. Knowing that telling him to move was suicide, I just scooted over. "Tired?" I asked as I looked down at my new bandages.

He never answered, and when I looked to him again, the weasel was sound asleep. I smirked and decided that this was his way of telling me that it was my turn to keep watch. Accepting this, I took my post, letting my eyes wander about for any intruders, but occasionally looking back to Itachi. For a murdering, sadistic psychopath, he's cute when he sleeps.


	19. Chapter 18

The feeling of someone's eyes gazing at my body woke me.

I blinked my eyes open and quickly determined that I was both in the hospital wing of the Akatsuki base, and I was still resting on Kisame's bed. I ought to complain to Kakuzu sometime; the hospital mattresses are far comfier than the ones we're assigned in our bedrooms-

My thoughts were interrupted by Kisame's gaze on me. I knew by now that it had to be Kisame; no one else but my partner was present in the room, and he was the only one who would dare keep his attention on me for such a long period of time. "Is there a reason you keep looking at me?" I inquired before sitting up and glancing over to meet my partner's gaze.

I expected my words to phase him, at the very least. But no, he sat there, eyes still on me, looking as though I'd simply asked him the time and date. "Does it bother you?" he shot back.

"Not really." Why should it bother me? I don't mind being looked at, and keeping an eye on me only ensures that Kisame can do a more effective job as bodyguard during his watch.

He gives me a disbelieving look, and I carefully repeated what I've just said in my mind. I curse myself as the realization sinks in. He took the meaning of my words _that_ way. Which, although I eventually want him to think of me that way, still bothers me. It was a slip of the tongue, and too many of those could throw the master plan into chaos.

Deciding to salvage what I could, I lay back down on the bed and shut my eyes once more. "I'm going back to sleep."

"You've been sleeping for the last twelve hours," my partner complained as he lay down next to me.

"And you were asleep for eighteen hours before that," I countered. "Hence, I'm entitled to six more hours of sleep before it's my shift." That should settle that argument.

But it didn't. Kisame moved closer to me, coming dangerously close to destroying the bubble of personal space I had to maintain around me at all times. "Could you at least get off the bed?" he requested.

"Hn," I replied as I turned over to give him my back. He wouldn't push me any further; despite my earlier admittance of not wishing to harm him, he knew that I would injure/maim him if provoked. Sure enough, I was left in peace after that.

Eventually, I did relax enough to drift back to sleep; at least, near unconsciousness. I rolled onto my stomach, face turned towards the wall (or rather, away from Kisame and the accursed window that insisted on letting sunlight into the room) and was nearly asleep when I felt gentle pressure applied to my scalp.

Startled out of my rest, I remained motionless. The person touching me had to be Kisame; no one else had entered the room. But what was he…?

The fingers on my head began to move, stroking my hair as they gently undid the knots that had formed in my locks whilst I slept. In a flash, the truth hit me.

Kisame was playing with my hair. And I wasn't attempting to stop him.

I put aside the former fact for a moment, and questioned the latter. Why wasn't I sitting upright at this very instant and stabbing him repeatedly for daring to touch me? When the truth hit, it made me want to puke. I wasn't halting his movements because I was enjoying this.

I tried to recall the last time that I'd allow someone to touch me like this. I think it was back during my days as a Konoha ninja. Yes, I was tucking Sasuke in one night, and like any small child would, he hugged me and kissed my cheek as I pulled the covers up over his body.

This thought surprised me. To think, I'd gone so many years without any form of affection, and I hadn't missed it. At least, I didn't think that it had been something I'd missed.

Yet as Kisame continued to gently tousle my hair, doubt began to creep into my mind. It was as if his caring ministrations were opening the door to the blasted human side of me that I had been so careful to seal up all those years ago.

Before I could go down that path any further, I decided to shift my focus to the fact that Kisame was actually touching me. Up until yesterday, the man had been convinced that I was hell-bent on either harming or killing him at some point; yet here we were, lying together in a bed, him playing with my hair and me pretending to be asleep.

I should have sat up then and stopped him. Even opening my eyes and glaring up at him would have been enough to halt his actions and let my worries about needing care and questions over his movements die.

But I chose not to do anything. Instead, I snuggled deeper into my pillow and allowed him to continue his actions. The truth was, I was enjoying myself quite a bit at the moment, and had absolutely no intention of stopping him unless it became completely and totally necessary to do so.

-n-

Several nights later, we were back in our shared room. Nothing had happened since that day in the hospital; I had said nothing, and he, of course, had done the same.

At the moment, he was asleep on our bed, and I was sitting nearby. It was almost time for him to take over; the bags under my eyes were a testament to that.

As I sat there, watching for the appearance of nonexistent enemies, I chanced a glance down at my slumbering partner. His breathing was surprisingly soft; if you didn't know better, you'd think he was dead. Kisame's head was tilted to the side, a few strands of deep blue hair dangling down into his face.

Without even thinking about it, I brushed those few locks away from his countenance. The texture of the hair surprised me; I'd been expecting something harsh or rough to match Kisame's…well, Kisameness. And yes, that's a word. Care to fight about it? I didn't think so.

More out of surprise than anything else, I actually began to play with his hair. Yes, the apocalypse was clearly at hand, but aside from that I was fascinated. The blue locks were nearly as soft as mine, yet I was certain Kisame didn't have the same devotion as I when it came to hair care-"What are you doing?"

Kisame. Woke. Up.

There were many things that I could have said at that moment. Yet none of them were nearly as stupid as my actual reply, which was, "Returning the favor." In the instant that his eyes widened, I knew that he knew. Kami, why art thou so cruel?

"You…were awake?" Seeing no point in denying the charge now, I nodded my head. "And you didn't stop me?" Another nod. I then braced myself for the dreaded question I knew would follow. Three, two, one-"Why?"

How was I supposed to answer that?! Tell him I enjoyed the caresses? Admit that I'd gone so long without affection that I couldn't bring myself to stop him? No, all of that nonsense was out of the question. The only thing I could tell him was, "I didn't see any reason to stop you."

"So…you liked it?"

"It's your shift," I murmured as I lay down on my side of the mattress. This conversation was over, and I swore that if he ever brought it up again, I'd slit his throat, the scheme be damned.

I thought that he'd decided to drop the matter and leave me be. Yet a few hours later, I felt a now familiar pressure applied to my head, followed by Kisame's fingers moving through the locks.

I opened my eyes this time and glared up at him. I would not allow myself to fall victim to his touches again. He looked down at me, golden eyes matching my onyx black ones as his hand froze.

I'm not sure what happened in that moment. But _something_…something irreversibly altered between the two of us. As soon as it happened, I knew there was no point in trying to fight the change; whatever that change may have been.

Kisame broke the stillness between the two of us as his fingers began moving again. Despite my knowledge that this was a bad idea, I shut my eyes and gave into the pleasurable feeling my partner was now causing. I could beat myself up for this mistake in the morning; for the time being, I was going to enjoy myself.


	20. Chapter 19

I'm not sure how Itachi felt about the change in our relationship (if you can even call how we interacted a relationship) but I, for one, was thrilled.

The head scratching...no, hair stroking...wait, maybe weasel relaxing...whatever you want to call it, gave me an ace in the hole. Prior to my discovery of Itachi's love of affection, I had done anything and everything to avoid pissing off my partner. If he somehow managed to become enraged anyway, I tried to avoid him for a few hours or days. Possibly weeks, if the Uchiha was in a really bad funk. But my discovery altered things.

Whenever Itachi became upset now, I could approach him with a fair certainty that I wasn't going to be brutally slaughtered as long as I sat in silence while playing with his hair. The little weasel loved it, although there's little doubt in my mind that he'd sooner die than admit to that. He'd just lie there quietly, eyes shut as his body curled up into a little ball. It was adorable, really.

Please don't tell him I said that.

The point was that I no longer lived in overwhelming fear of Itachi (the fear was still there though. I was happy, not stupid.) It turned out that my fears were well founded.

One night, Itachi had gotten unusually upset about something, and silently fumed about it in the bedroom. What the something was, I don't know. Maybe Deidara pestered him for too long, maybe he was forced to spend time with Tobi, maybe someone breathed in his general direction, the possibilities really are endless. Well, me being the thoughtful shark I am, I decided that he needed a bit of TLC, and proceeded to sit beside him on our shared mattress and play with his hair. Nothing out of the ordinary so far.

Itachi relaxed under my fingertips, his eyes drooping shut as he curled up on the bed. I grinned inwardly; this was one of those rare moments where I actually felt like I had some sort of control over the Uchiha. Itachi would probably set the record straight with a lot of big words and then castrate me just to make a point if I ever told him that, but still, it doesn't change how I felt.

While I'd been pondering the weasel ripping off my nether regions, Itachi had fallen asleep. This was a surprise. Never, since we'd begun our partnership, had the man drifted off into dream land without first making sure that I was going to be on guard while he slept. So, either the weasel trusted me to watch him without being instructed to do so, or he had gotten careless.

I honestly couldn't say which option was less likely.

So, having a thoroughly relaxed and unconscious homicidal sadist resting beneath my fingertips, I did what any shark would do; I got stupid.

See, I know that Itachi takes great care in primping and whatnot. His hair isn't the only thing the weasel frets over; he needs to have this kind of body wash or that brand of bar soap, and he'll always require at least an hour in the shower. I've met women that go to fewer pains than he.

Seriously, please don't let Itachi know I'm telling you this. I like having my insides on the inside. Really, I do.

Ok, back to the point. I knew that Itachi spent a lot of time on his appearance; so, what were the results? Obviously I could see the flawlessness of my partner's body, but I also wanted to feel it with my own hands.

And so, listening to the voice in my head that told me that poking a deranged, murderous, and temperamental weasel was a good idea, I ran my finger across Itachi's cheek.

My eyes widened at the texture. Itachi's skin was perfect. I couldn't find a single imperfection with my fingertips, and his cheek felt unbelievably smooth. Now, what follows stupidity? Right, more stupidity. I chose to push my luck.

Slowly, gingerly, my fingers slid across his face to his lips. Even these were perfect; not cracked or anything, like you'd expect. Maybe he used chap stick or something-

I was abruptly informed that my number was up when Itachi harshly bit down on my finger.

To say that I screamed would be the equivalent of saying that provoking my sleeping partner was only mildly stupid. In any case, I managed to jerk my hand free of my partner's mouth before he bit my finger off, and scrambled to the other side of the bed as fast as I could.

Acting as though he hadn't attempted to mutilate me, Itachi sat up and looked at me with mild disinterest. "What were you doing?"

"I was just playing with your hair, and then you bit me!"

He didn't look convinced. "If you were playing with my hair, why was your hand near my mouth?"

"Because I was...erm..." Shit, I was dead. "Well, your skin was soft, and I wasn't really thinking about it..." Oh sure, go right ahead and dig your grave that much deeper, Kisame. Really, it's a miracle Itachi hasn't killed me yet.

Fortunately I escaped death once again. Itachi did not violently murder me for touching his face; instead, he just gave me a strange look. Like he was surprised and maybe...satisfied? No, that couldn't be it. Could it?

I watched quietly as the Uchiha climbed off the bed and walked into our shared bathroom. When he returned a few minutes later, he was carrying a first-aid kit under his arm. "Here," he said as he handed it over to me. Oh right. I was still bleeding.

A bit of quick doctoring soon took care of that, but I was still miffed. Itachi seemed to notice this, and frowned. The weasel then proceeded to sit down by me on the bed, looking intently at my damaged digit all the while. "Is it really that bad?"

"Yes," I snapped. That was a lie, but I was beyond annoyed with my partner by then.

Itachi looked at my hand for a few more brief moments, before actually grasping the limb with his slim fingers. He seemed to hesitate for a second, before bringing the finger to his lips and kissing it.

Itachi kissed my finger. Itachi, a twisted little sadistic weasel, who has NEVER shown me so much as a happy smile or spared me a kind word, kissed my wounded finger.

It's amazing I didn't faint. I mean-!...oh, never mind.

While I was still staring at my hand in disbelief, Itachi stood and walked around the mattress to get to his side of the bed. "Wake me in a few hours when it's my turn to watch," he instructed. And then he just crawled under the covers and went to sleep, like it was no big deal!

For the first time in a long while, I was grateful to be on watch duty. There was no way in hell I was getting any sleep that night. Not when all I could think about was how soft Itachi's lips felt against my hand-I mean…damnit, I can't get a break.


	21. Chapter 20

The pieces of my ingenious scheme were at last falling into place. Soon, Kisame would be in my control.

My partner had consciously overridden his fears of me harming him due to a possible attraction. And because I'd shown him an open display of affection, he was likely to repeat his actions at some point.

I didn't hint at wanting him to do that again; such actions could have jeopardized the whole scheme. Instead, I acted irritated with him for a few weeks, slightly annoyed for a few days after that, and less than two months later we'd returned to normal interaction. Now to implement the next phase.

It happened on a normal night; nothing special or memorable about the evening at all, really. We were staying in a hotel room at the time, with the shades drawn and door bolted for security. Our bags were resting at the foot of the bed; our cloaks lay on top of it, should we need to make a speedy getaway. The two of us had settled in, and were now reclining on the chamber's only mattress, waiting to decide who would take first watch tonight.

Wearing only a pair of loose capris atop my boxers, I lay down on my stomach beside Kisame on his left, head propped up by my arms and a frown on my face. I was in a calm mood, but it was vital that the shark think that I was upset. I knew he wouldn't ask about my foul mood, and his imagination could fill in the blank as to what the cause of my annoyance was. All that mattered was that he **act**.

It took him a few minutes, but finally Kisame went into action. Familiar calloused fingers buried themselves in my hair, and in only a few seconds I could feel myself melt at his gentle touch.

Tell anyone I said that, and you will endure the most heinous sort of death that can be conjured up by my mind.

I pushed my delight aside long enough to remind myself of my mission. After a few more minutes of this bliss, I slowed my breathing to make it appear as though I was asleep. He fell for it; I could tell, since his movements gradually slowed, and then stopped altogether. His hand didn't leave my head though; it simply came to rest atop my scalp. I didn't mind.

A few moments later though, the digits began moving once more and slowly stroked my cheek. Would it not have given me away, I would have grinned then. So, the shark really hadn't learned anything from last time. Just as I had hoped.

I wrinkled my brow and moved away from the touch, which brought me closer to his leg. He stiffened for a few seconds, and then began touching me again. I slipped away from his fingers once again, and his hand chased after me a bit later.

I would like to take a moment to point out something. When I had first been acting upset, Kisame had been sitting by me at the foot of the bed with his legs dangling over the side, since he apparently can't stand to sit cross-legged. But while pleasuring me, he'd rotated his body to better accommodate me. This is what made it so easy for me to place my head in his lap the next time he brushed against my cheek.

For a moment he did nothing, and I briefly wondered if my sudden gesture had caused the poor shark to have a heart attack. That idea was quickly dismissed when he resumed playing with my hair. This time, though, he used his right hand instead of his left (the position of his thumb gave it away). How odd; why would he reach across his body when he could easily use his left and be spared the trouble?

The answer came in the form of an Akatsuki cloak being draped over my body. That was why.

At that moment, I felt something that I hadn't felt since my days as a youth in Konoha; security. Resting with my head in Kisame's lap, a warm cloak covering my body, and a partner watching out for danger…all of these things combined made me feel somewhat safe.

Pondering these thoughts, I allowed myself to drift off into unconsciousness.

When I awoke again, it was morning. I could tell, because a few annoying songbirds had decided that the perfect place to sing their happy tunes was right outside our bedroom window. I'd have to incinerate them on the way out…

But for now, I had a more pressing matter. The issue of Kisame letting me sleep through at least two of my shifts.

When I opened my eyes and sat up, I came to the conclusion that I had slept with my head in the shark's lap all night. I made a mental note that Kisame's legs made for excellent pillows, and looked to my partner. He seemed nervous, as if he expected an angry backlash when I realized exactly where I'd been sleeping.

I chose to simply rub my eyes and ask why he allowed me to sleep through my watches.

The nervousness on his face quickly gave way to surprise, probably because my tone didn't even sound angry, and my comment was not one that ensured his doom. "I wasn't tired," he answered with a shrug. "So there wasn't any point in waking you up."

I nodded, accepting his rather pathetic excuse for an answer, and reached off the bed to grab my pack and dress myself. Kisame seemed to take the hint and mimicked my actions, grabbing his own belongings and moving to prepare to leave. The only surprising movement of his was when he pulled the cloak covering me away, and set it beside him. So, he'd used his own clothing to cover me? Interesting.

It didn't take long for us to get ready, since we travel light. Once I was certain that we were fully prepared to leave, I began walking towards the door. On the way, I was careful to brush myself against Kisame's side, but continued on as though nothing had happened. He hesitated, but soon followed after me, just as I knew he would.

I almost smirked at my actions. Everything was going according to plan, and Kisame was falling for it hook, line and sinker. If I wasn't such a cruel sadist, I might have felt sorry for him. Well, let's not go that far.


	22. Chapter 21

I'll be honest with you; I was beginning to like this new Itachi.

While I still lived in constant fear of the little Uchiha, it didn't completely overwhelm me. Being able to soothe the savage beast (or weasel, if you prefer) gave me a strand of comfort to which to cling at the darkest times. I wouldn't say that I had power over Itachi at this point; that would be an extremely lethal lie. More like…I was no longer existing way below his level.

See, during the night when he first slept on my lap, things changed between us. After my heart and brain started functioning post Itachi putting his head on my leg, I tried to go back to watching for danger. I say tried to because in reality, I spent more of that night watching my partner than I did watching for danger. Of course, since Itachi was still a big threat to me at the time, I guess you could say I was watching both danger _and_ my partner by staring at him.

Hey, you try focusing on imaginary enemies when there is an adorable weasel in your lap! Crap, I called him adorable again…

Anyway, having him sleep that close and observing my partner whilst he slept kinda put things in perspective for me. Like, even though Itachi's a sadist who murdered nearly everyone in his clan and is probably more dangerous than most of the other Akatsuki members, he's still a human. Granted, a violent and twisted human, but a human nonetheless.

He's only about twenty; nearly young enough to be my kid. Wow, that makes me sound old. Besides that, he's a guy that loves his little brother even though the brat hates his guts. Itachi's distant, and focuses so much on training that he rarely takes proper care of himself health-wise without outside prodding. Sometimes, I think the kid's trying to drive himself into an early grave.

All these things ran through my head while I was on guard that night. Can you blame me for not looking out for possible ninja hiding in the shadows?

Morning came, and I thought for sure the guy would kill me when he woke up from his sleep. When he didn't, I was overjoyed. Not only had I gotten away with having him rest while touching me, but also letting him sleep past his watches. Maybe there was a heart in that sadist after all.

Ok, I know I'm stretching things now.

The biggest changes came in the days after that. During the times Itachi had watch, everything remained the same as it had always been. But when it was my turn to look out for enemies, Itachi would fall asleep only if his body was in contact with mine. Weird, huh?

It was kinda cute, really. That big, tough weasel curled up against my leg or arm like a tabby cat near a hearth. What I would have given for a camera. Of course Itachi probably would have burned the photos and shoved the camera down my throat for such actions, so maybe it's better that the only pictures I have are in my mind.

Now, I for one had no problem with this new arrangement, and since Itachi was the one that technically started this business, I was guessing he didn't have any issues either. The status quo had changed, but not necessarily for the bad. And then, one night, I did something that could very easily have gotten me killed where I stood. Or sat, as the case was.

Surprisingly, this nightmare happened when Itachi was on guard, not me. I was sleeping away in bed like any tired out shark would do, just minding my own business and waiting for the shift change. Only it never came, and I woke up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. I can't remember what did it; maybe I had a bad dream, maybe my body was just so used to short periods of rest that my long nap confused it. Whatever happened doesn't really matter; the only important details are that Itachi had let me sleep through a shift, and was now sitting up in bed looking like he was about to collapse at any given second. "Itachi?"

He spun around to look at me so fast I thought his neck was going to snap. Blood red eyes stared at me briefly, before figuring out that no, there was no threat, I was merely awake and wanting his attention. "Hn?" he asked

I sat up and propped my still half-asleep form against the headboard of our bed. For once we were back inside the base, and I could sleep on a mattress without wondering who had been here before me or what they had done in the bed. "Why'd you let me sleep?"

"I didn't see a reason to wake you."

"Tch, how about the fact that you're about to pass out?"

Now, the comment in and of itself was pretty dangerous, and had I been fully awake, I never would have made such a risky remark. It was equivalent to calling Itachi weak, and my partner **hates** being called weak with a passion. Particularly if it's me saying it, for some reason.

His onyx eyes narrowed, and with a calm tone he none too gently informed me that he was most certainly not about to pass out, and I better be more careful before saying things like that to him in the future. He didn't use those exact words, but I'd really not repeat what he actually said. It still gives me chills at times.

For some reason that night (maybe it was a full moon, maybe some gypsy's curse on me from decades ago was finally taking hold, I don't know) my mind was filled not with fear at his words, but mild annoyance. I didn't make that comment to hurt him; I was just trying to keep us safe! And even though the gesture of him allowing me extra sleep was pretty nice, it put both of us at risk if he was so close to dozing off.

Fortunately for me, my brain was still working well enough to remind me that saying these things aloud would definitely earn me a one-way trip into the Tsukiyomi, which would probably end badly for me. But I couldn't just roll over and go back to sleep with Itachi sitting there already halfway into dreamland, could I?

My brain, being the frightening thing it is, decided that the best course of action involved killing two birds with one stone, and before I knew what I was doing I had grabbed Itachi, pulled him against my chest, and told him to go to sleep.

Around the time Itachi began struggling against me and threatening me in ways that would give you nightmares for months, I began to realize exactly how screwed over I was.

1) I had called Itachi weak.  
2) I had physically assaulted Itachi.  
3) I had given Itachi a direct order.  
4) I was still clinging to Itachi like he was a lifeline.  
5) The logical side of my brain demanding the weasel's release had been completely overridden by the small part of me that had suddenly discovered it liked to hold Itachi.

Look at the situation from any angle, and it was pretty obvious that I was a dead shark who had no chance of escaping this fiasco alive or in one piece.

Yet somehow, I came out of it alive and unmaimed. I think it was because I refused to let go of him. Had I released the weasel, he more than likely would have done me in without a second thought. But because I continued to clutch him to me, Itachi eventually gave up and with a "Fine," settled himself against my chest.

Before long, it dawned on me that we'd gone from him sleeping on my arm or leg to him dozing on my torso while being held tight by me.

Confused does not even begin to cover how I felt at that moment of realization.

I'm pretty sure that my mind went into shock after that, because the rest of the night's a complete blur. Minus the feeling of Itachi's gentle breathing on my skin.


	23. Chapter 22

I should have killed Kisame that night. I should have just abandoned the plan in its entirety and murdered the shark in cold blood. Perhaps then, what followed would never have occurred.

To begin with, I was outraged by the shark's actions. Half-asleep or not, he bodily assaulted me and pinned me against his chest, as if I were but a child he was attempting to control. He refused to release me, even when I specifically ordered him to do so. Despite how warm and firm his chest felt against my body, this was still unforgivable.

It was no surprise then, that when the morning came and I awoke from the best sleep I'd had in a good long while, I held the shark at knifepoint against our headboard and warned him that should he ever pull a stunt like that again, I was going to brutally murder him slowly and painfully. He nodded, his fear clearly returning, and I let him go. We packed our things and then left.

Before we go on, I wish to elaborate on exactly why I was so terribly angered against my partner. It wasn't simply because he'd invaded my personal space, or that he'd seen fit to disobey a direct order. No, my rage stemmed from the fact that Kisame had acted out in a caring matter of his own consent. How dare he?!

Of all the outrageous things for him to do…holding me?! I had not prompted him to act in that way, I'd given no hints that the plan was ready for him to approach me in such a manner, so what was he thinking? And that was when I came to a terrible conclusion. Kisame had developed an attachment to me, and was acting upon it out of his own free will.

How in Kami's name could I have let this happen? After I had that dreadful epiphany, I knew that the only viable solution was to completely and totally terminate my plan, before any other unforeseen disasters could occur.

This was easier said than done.

Somehow, my partner had kept his blasted guilt in his heart even after becoming a murderer, and did everything in his power to make amends with me for his hasty actions. Countless rebuffs and cruel looks did little to curb his desire to fix the situation, and I was beginning to think that plan abandonment was a lost cause. The breaking point came one night at a hotel room.

The two of us had been caught in a windstorm, which had managed to bring my anger to a raging tempest. I was now covered in dirt and grit, my hair was a disaster, and Kisame was asking me every five minutes if I wanted to stop. Finally, I could endure no more and directed the two of us towards a small inn at the edge of town. At the very least, I could quiet my partner's incessant worrying.

We were quick to check in at the front desk and secure a small room with a queen sized bed. This little problem added to my anger; since the incident, I'd made specific arrangements to get us separate rooms, or rooms with two beds. I decided not to press the matter, though. Kisame could sleep on the floor.

My bag soon found itself on the floor at the foot of our bed, and I was standing in the bathroom assessing the damage the storm had done. Aside from the fact that I looked like a street urchin, it wasn't too terrible.

A quick bath took care of most of the filth, but my hair was another matter altogether. Neither fine-toothed pick nor my fingers could coax the knots loose from it post shower, and I was getting more than a bit annoyed. A more accurate statement, though, would be that I was ready to set fire to our hotel and slaughter all the inhabitants currently residing within its walls. This was beyond frustrating.

And Kisame was not helping my dilemma. If anything, the blasted shark was only making matters that much worse for me. When he saw me emerge from the bathroom in my rather frenzied state, the first thing he did was rise from his seat on the foot of our mattress and inquire if I needed any help.

I was so close to killing him at that moment. But I managed to reign myself in, and shook my head no. I then seated myself in front of the large mirror our room possessed, and attempted to work the knots out once more. It was all for naught; my hair seemed determined to fight my comb to the bitter end.

Just as I was about to incinerate the uncooperative locks with Amaterasu, Kisame plucked the comb from my fingers and slowly began untangling the locks, as if it were but child's play to him.

Never had I been more irate than I was at that moment in time.

Growling, I nonetheless allowed Kisame to brush out my hair. "Don't think this means you're forgiven," I cautioned him.

"I wasn't expecting forgiveness," was his reply. I could have rolled my eyes at the words. Of course.

I sat there, staring blankly at my own reflection as Kisame's fingers danced through my locks. So, this was what I'd become. A frustrated child with social issues that needed assistance brushing his own hair. How very pathetic.

I continued to lock gazes with my own image, staring at the glass as my distress grew and grew, until at length I could take it no longer. Not even breaking my gaze with the reflection, I snapped my arm up and grabbed hold of Kisame's wrist. "I can get the rest."

"…Do you want to?"

To say that Kisame's inquiry caught me off guard would be a gross understatement. I had expected him to willingly concede and return my comb to me; if not, then perhaps a moment of hesitation and a reluctant "All right." But to question my actions…

The most amazing thing was, I actually thought about his question. To my astonishment, the answer was no. No, I did not want him to let go. No, I did not want to lose the feeling of his fingertips pressing lightly against my scalp whilst his hands smoothed out the imperfections of my hair. No, I did not want to have the contact between us vanish.

I released my grip on his hand, and a moment later he was back to detangling my hair.

My reflection once again occupied my attention, and now I was forced to ponder not his actions as of late, but my own. Why had I not broken away from him, when for weeks all I had longed for was a reprieve from him? No answer presented itself before Kisame lay aside my comb and pronounced my locks tangle free.

Satisfied with his job, I rose from my perch and made my way to our shared bed. A break from staring at myself in the mirror and tiring myself out over pointless musings would do me a bit of good.

He agreed to take the first watch, and for that I was grateful. Or at least I would have been, if I had been able to sleep while my partner was on guard. My blasted mind could not be soothed, and I knew of no way to prompt sleep to come forth. Minus one option that didn't seem terribly feasible at the moment.

Time passed, and still insomnia possessed me. Finally, I could take it no longer. I had to ask for his help. I took a moment to gather myself up, before looking up at Kisame and speaking his name.

He looked down at me, clearly awaiting the rest of whatever it was that I was trying to say. But the words died on my lips, and I knew that after everything that had transpired, I simply couldn't ask that of him. My gaze slipped away from his, and glued itself to my pillow. This was truly my saddest moment.

Yet that was not the end. Perhaps our years of little to no conversation had taught Kisame to read my body language rather than my lips if he wished to know what I was attempting to tell him. I felt a warm, calloused hand settle on the crown of my head, before slowly massaging circles into my hair. It was a start, but not quite enough for me on this night.

The shark quickly picked up on this fact, much to my relief. I shudder at the thought of what would have happened if I had actually needed to speak up and inform Kisame of what I needed.

Slowly, he lifted me up off my pillow and transferred my head into his lap. The covers were readjusted, his position shifted a bit, and soon enough he was back to relaxing me.

I realized then something that should have occurred to me long ago. I was being drawn in by this shark. Years of isolation and neglect hadn't hardened my heart; rather, they had made it a prime target for any and all signs of caring or affection. Unable to process at the time whether this was a good or a bad thing for my overall plan, I slipped into a dreamless slumber.


	24. Chapter 23

I know you're probably not going to believe me when I tell you this, but it's the truth. I think that Itachi (stoic, sadistic, evil little Itachi) might have developed a crush on me at that point. Now I know the idea sounds insane, but hear me out!

For about a week after Itachi "asked" me to play with his hair and let him sleep in my lap, the guy completely and totally avoided me. I thought at first that maybe I'd messed up again, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what had gone wrong that night to upset Itachi like this. And then, things changed.

For starters, he began asking to train with me all the time. I can't think of one instance in the following three month period where I trained outside our base without Itachi. He was really into it too; if I didn't know better, I'd think he was actually trying to kill me. But no, I knew that Itachi was just trying to prove himself a worthy opponent against a swordsman like myself.

A while after we started training all the time, he started cooking. That's right, the infamous Itachi Uchiha, mass murderer and criminal extraordinaire was baking muffins in the kitchen of Akatsuki headquarters. The first time I caught him wearing oven mitts and pulling brownies out of the oven, I almost fainted from the shock.

As if this weren't shocking enough, a few weeks after he began his new cooking hobby, he actually made a tuna casserole for me! How girly crush can you get?

Problem was, I never got to enjoy Itachi's cooking. Zetsu (who happened to be in the kitchen preparing his own meal while Itachi and I ate) snatched up the plate my partner had offered me and ate all of it on his own. Before Itachi could even fetch another dish and offer me a new piece, Zetsu started convulsing and foaming at the mouth.

Pein, of course, looked into this, and determined that our plant friend had had an extreme allergic reaction to some tainted fish. Tobi was left to care for him (poor soul) and Itachi had to throw out all of his hard work. You could see the anger in his eyes when he was forced to dump the food into the garbage.

At nights we were closer than ever. Itachi was practically joined at my hip now, and required constant affection whenever I was on guard duty. Sometimes he wanted his hair played with, sometimes he wanted gentle caresses. There were even a few occasions where he wanted a backrub. As long as he was sleeping with his head in my lap, we were fine. He didn't make any move to rest completely in my lap, and I wasn't going to risk angering him again.

As all these things were happening, I slowly started to realize that I'd developed an attachment to the little weasel. Mind you, I was fully aware that this attachment wasn't a crush or anything like that. I just liked to be around Itachi, know that he was ok, relax him while he snuggled into my leg, fret about him when he wasn't around, and stuff like that. See? It's completely different from a crush.

But if you still don't believe me, then listen to this.

One night, we were in our room at the Akatsuki base, getting ready for bed. I'd just gotten dressed after taking a quick shower, and my partner was stretched out on our bed, clad only in a pair of capris and clearly waiting for me to finish up so that the two of us could turn in the for the night. As I was toweling off my hair for the last time, I decided we needed to figure out that night's shift. "Ita-"

"Kisame." I clammed up as soon as he spoke. Word to the wise; let Itachi say what he has to say before you _dare_ open your mouth to speak again. You're less likely to get maimed.

He didn't say anything after that; just stared at me for a couple of seconds. I began to shift from side to side while waiting for my partner to continue. I wanted to speak, but if I interrupted Itachi there would be hell to pay.

After a few more seconds, he slowly rose from his reclining position and climbed off the bed, his eyes never once looking away from me. The weasel then crossed the room at a painstakingly slow pace, and stopped in front of me. Still he hadn't spoken again, and I wasn't about to break the silence.

Once in front of me, Itachi just kinda stared up at me for a little bit with this nervous look in his eyes. You can never tell how he's feeling just by looking at Itachi's face; if you wanna know what kind of emotion the weasel's experiencing, you have to look into those onyx eyes.

While I was contemplating this, Itachi moved closer to me. Before I could think of a way to safely suggest that Itachi give me a few more inches of space, he stood up on his toes and kissed me on the lips.

Itachi kissed me. Itachi Uchiha had kissed me, Kisame Hoshigaki, his long-time partner in crime. No matter how many times I repeated the words in my head, they didn't make any sense.

It was like a law of the universe had been broken or something. I half-expected one of the other members to come rushing into our room and scream that Armageddon was here, it's been a nice ride, so long. This couldn't have been right! Maybe Itachi was sick or something?

As we were lip-locked and my brain was trying not to shut down, he put his arms around me, his dainty little hands resting on the sides of my neck. And while my mind may have been out of commission, my body knew full well what to do. So with relatively little hesitation, I kissed back and ran my fingers down his exposed spine.

When I first felt him move, I thought that he was shivering because of the cold. And then I realized that he was shuddering from my touch. I had made him do that.

I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't get a rush from that.

Before I could savor the moment any longer, though, Itachi slipped out from within my arms and bolted from the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Leaving a very confused me in his wake. So, exactly what did I do to make him vanish?

I don't think my breath was that bad...ok, maybe it was a little gross. But not bad enough to make him run off! Was I supposed to have just stood there like a statue while he kissed me?! I'm pretty sure that would have resulted in maiming. So, what had gone wrong?

Then, an idea hit me. Perhaps Itachi had chickened out after smooching me. It would make sense; he's not the type to show emotions, and kissing me (which almost certainly meant he had feelings for me) definitely counted as openly displaying affection. He'd probably never even tried something like this back in Konoha, which added to the likelihood of him having gotten nervous and fled like that. It was really starting to look like Itachi had a crush on me, and freaked out after exposing it for me to see.

Well, there was only one thing left for me to do. I had to go out and find my partner.


	25. Chapter 24

The blasted shark **would not die**.

After careful consideration and mentally running through various scenarios, I came to the conclusion that I had to completely discard my plan and simply murder my partner. However, I had to be cautious as to what methods I could use. An outright attack would probably fail, and if Kisame didn't kill me for such actions, Pein would. So, what was I to do? Easy. I needed to create a viable façade to cover up my diabolical scheme.

The first idea I crafted involved training with Kisame. After all, we were both killers who trained with lethal force; an accidental death on the battlefield wouldn't raise much suspicion, would it?

Yet I encountered nothing but problems whilst utilizing this method. He ducked my swings, dodged my kicks, and flawlessly avoided my Sharingan. While I did congratulate myself for realizing that a direct attack was out of the question beforehand, I was nonetheless thoroughly angered at my failure.

The next plot is not one of which I am very proud. Poisoning has always been the murder choice for women, you know. But, desperate times called for desperate measures.

The first thing I had to accomplish, though, was becoming a decent enough cook that Kisame would eat my food without suspicion. It was a challenge in and of itself, particularly since Hidan stood by for the better part of my self-teaching and jeered at me. A few well placed knives in his corneas, though, soon solved that problem, and once I had been left alone it took but a fortnight before I deemed my food edible.

Now that the preliminary items had been taken care of, I merely had to select the dish which would carry the vital concoction I had swiped from Sasori's desk (a crime for which I was never suspected. I do believe that Deidara took the fall for that, seeing as for several days after the theft, we heard loud screams from their room, and Deidara walked about with a pronounced limp whenever he was even able to exit their chambers). I finally settled on a tuna casserole for my weapon of choice.

Laugh all you want, but I am not above a bit of poetic irony. Besides, what better way to kill a shark than with a tainted fish?

Everything was going according to plan, until that blasted lunatic known as Zetsu devoured the portion I'd been intending for Kisame. I didn't even have the chance to slip him a fresh piece before the plant man felt the toxin's effects.

Fortunately for me, Pein diagnosed the issue as an allergic reaction and let the matter drop. I'd been expecting the cause to be listed as merely food poisoning, but as long as I wasn't in harm's way, it was no matter.

The most infuriating part of this time period for me was that while I longed for my partner's untimely demise, I longed for his comfort even more. Much as it shames me to admit it, I'd become addicted to his caresses. I was no better than a heroin addict with an overwhelming craving for my drug of choice. A drug by the name of Kisame.

I swear, if you EVER tell anyone that those words left my mouth, you will die horribly, slowly, painfully, and soon.

My attachment and loathing could not coexist within me, of course. One emotion would eventually win out, and I was praying that it would be the latter. Yet I knew that there was a strong chance that the affections would emerge as the victor; thus, I had to remove my partner immediately. And so, I came up with a rather straightforward plan not long after the casserole incident.

I put my plot into affect one night as we were lounging together in the base. Kisame had stepped out of the still-steamy bathroom not a moment before then, and like me was now clad only in a pair of black boxers. He was drying off his hair, I made my move and called out to him. He looked at me, patiently waiting for me to finish as I knew he would. Really, it was going to be such a shame to lose someone that so clearly respected me.

As I rose from our mattress and approached him, I ran the plan through my mind over and over. I'd walk up to the shark, kiss him, and while he was still distracted/stunned from the kiss, I'd reach up and snap his neck. When the others investigated, I'd claim that Kisame had attacked me first, and the shark (being dead and whatnot) would be unable to protest.

Naturally, I was a tiny bit nervous. Many things could go wrong in this scheme, I knew that all too well. Yet I had to take this risk, and try to rid myself of my accursed partner once and for all.

To make a long story short, I did indeed stand on tiptoe and kiss my partner. As expected, he froze up, which allowed me to put my hands in neck-snapping position. But I couldn't do it. The moment my lips touched his, I knew I wouldn't be able to carry out my plan. In that moment, I knew which emotion had won out.

To make matters worse, he responded by kissing back, and running his calloused hands down my back. It felt wonderful, and my body involuntarily shivered.

To say that I was horrified by my own response is a grand understatement.

Everything had gone to hell in a hand-basket, and I needed to find a bit of space to clear my head. Without further adieu, I fled the room and the base. Five minutes later, I was perched on top of our mountainside base, my legs dangling off the edge of a cliff as I stared off into the starry night.

As I sat there, contemplating whether or not to leap off the mountain, Kisame approached me. Without waiting for an invitation (or even asking my permission, for that matter) he seated himself beside me. He didn't speak, didn't reach out to me, didn't do anything, really. He just reclined there and looked at the sky.

For the longest time, neither of us made a move or a sound. Finally, he scooted closer to me. He kept moving, until finally we were pressed side to side on that mountaintop. "Itachi…"

"Hn?"

He looked at me, and I looked at him. For a time, he didn't go on. And when he finally spoke, I almost wished that he'd remained silent. "Itachi, I'm starting to think that you really care about me (HA!) and I want you to know…um…I kinda like you too."

Tell me, what is the correct response to a confession like that?

I wasn't sure what to do. But I had to go with my gut instinct, since my intelligence couldn't produce a good response. I rotated my body to face him, glaring all the while at the shark. "You," I began as I rose on my knees. "Are…" I continued whilst moving closer to him.

By now, we were barely separated with less than a few inches between our bodies. I was well aware that what I was about to do would probably destroy everything upon which our partnership had been built. But at the moment, I didn't care. So, I opened my mouth to speak one more time. "Infuriating," I finished, just before kissing him again.


	26. Chapter 25

I'm not sure how to describe the months that followed our kiss. Being with Itachi was sorta like...cuddling a lit stick of dynamite, if you want the truth.

Like I said, after the kiss we were definitely together, there was no question about that. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if we hadn't gotten together, the little weasel would have fried me under the pretense that I was leading him on. Or something like that. You know how Itachi can be sometimes.

We didn't actually agree to date, though. There was no popped question, no uncomfortable silence as one of us waited for the other's answer; it just came to be. One minute we're partners, the next minute we're an item. Confusing, right? Even I'm still trying to figure out exactly how that happened...

Now, being in a relationship (or whatever the hell you'd call it) didn't mean I was given any more leeway. Itachi still had the whole murderous sadist aura about him, and on more than one occasion I tried to press my luck and almost ended up on the pointy end of a kunai.

Now, what **did** change was Itachi's general attitude towards me. He wanted my attention all the time! Like, I would be sitting on the bed, reading a book and minding my own business, when Itachi pops into the room. Suddenly my book's gone and Itachi's snuggling into my side. Will I ever know if Chloe and Daniel find happiness?

Or there was the time I was cooking dinner in the kitchen with Deidara's help. I'll admit, the kid's annoying sometimes, but he actually knows how to make pretty good food. As the blonde was showing me the "proper" way to crack an egg, my partner walked into the room.

By now, you should know that those two were like water and oil, so Itachi's arrival wasn't exactly something for Deidara to smile about. I took a few steps back from where Deidara stood, fully prepared to take cover behind the counter should those two get into a fight. It wouldn't be the first time they've gone from civil to a cat fight in the blink of an eye.

Fortunately for both me and the kitchen, no battle broke out. Instead, Itachi calmly told Deidara that Sasori needed him immediately. You could practically see the guy melt at the mention of his partner. In seconds he was out of the room, and I was without a cook. "You're making dinner?" Itachi asked me.

"Yeah, kinda."

"Let me help, before you burn down the entire base." Note the overwhelming confidence my partner has in me.

In any case, Itachi started cooking (and by that, I mean once he stepped in I wasn't allowed to do anything but slice fruit) and an hour later we had a fairly nice meal made. Once we'd eaten and cleaned up, Itachi went to the living room and I ventured towards our room. On my way, I passed a rather irate Deidara. You could tell the guy was ticked, seeing as his hands were balled into fists and he was grumbling under his breath while trekking down the hall in a pretty stiff manner. "Lying weasel bastard, un."

"What's wrong?"

He stopped walking long enough to glare at me with sheer malice. "Your stupid partner lied about danna needing me, un!"

"Well, I'm sorry-wait, why didn't you just come back into the kitchen then?"

The kid's anger vanished at my question, and he actually blushed a little. He started mumbling and twiddling his thumbs then, and it was about five minutes before I got an actual answer out of him. "Well, we got into a fight, and then Sasori danna felt bad and wanted to show how sorry he was..."

After that the mumbling got so bad I couldn't understand a word he said, but it didn't really matter because by then I'd noticed how his ponytail had recently been redone, and there were a few hickeys showing that not even the collar of his cloak could hide. "Save it; I don't wanna know."

For the time being I'll ignore Deidara's forgiving nature and overactive libido, since we're focusing on Itachi. Kami, I could go on for hours about how that blonde and redhead can't keep it in their pants…

Anyway, I know that it sounds like my hellish life got worse when the weasel and I became more than just partners, but that's really misleading. Much as his obsessive attitude bugged me, I was having the time of my life, due to a huge ego boost that came with our relationship.

You see, Itachi's always been dominant since day one. I guess it comes with the territory of being a sadist or something. All the plans, all our procedures, everything that we did was done because Itachi willed it so. He knew the best course of action, and had the power to back up his strategies. It was the result of hours of training his brain and body, no doubt, but all that hard work had created a tragic flaw for my partner. He'd never had time for a real relationship, and as such didn't have a clue what to do with his body around me. Leaving me in complete control.

It was pretty funny for a while. Itachi got so frustrated when we kissed, and for the longest time had no idea where to put his hands when we made out. Poor guy; he's always been labeled as a genius, but had no idea how to perform the most basic physical acts of affection.

I tried to be patient and not laugh (more for the sake of saving my skin than protecting his pride) and taught him how to do "certain things" via hands on activities. He became a pretty good kisser after a while, and his hands finally learned where to go to keep both of us happy. Next came the fun part.

For the record, I never told you any of this. Not a word.

After kissing comes touching, right? Well that concept scared the living daylights out of my partner. The first time one of my fingers reached under his shirt, I got a knife in the kidney. Not one of my more pleasant memories, I'll have you know.

Once I was bandaged and had him reasonably calm (by which I mean he'd put down his spare knife and didn't look ready to flee the room at a moment's notice) we got out of our shirts. Nothing too bad at the moment, seeing as we usually go around our room Hidan style. The tricky part was letting him know he could look and touch. Easier said than done.

I decided against beating around the bush and just grabbed his hand, since it didn't seem like he was ever gonna move on his own. In retrospect that probably wasn't the best idea, since Itachi's kinda like a squirrel in the sense that sudden movement sets him off. Logic and similes aside, he didn't freak out, so I went ahead with my plan, which was pretty simple; just get Itachi to touch me.

He was watching our hands, so I took a chance to observe his face. His normal emotionless expression was back in place, which was a pretty big turnoff, but in his eyes there was a hint of something else. Fear? Anxiety? I'm not too sure. In any case, once his icy cold fingers made contact with my torso, the calm exterior cracked ever so slightly, and he blushed.

I don't care what anyone else says; there is nothing cuter than Itachi blushing.

I won't go into the exact details of what happened next; we'll just leave it at Itachi became less shy with the whole touching thing afterward. It was going pretty great for a while. Of course Kami, being a total bastard who loves to mess with me, decided to screw things up.

It started with Itachi trembling slightly. I didn't think much of it; probably just a combination of nerves and not being used to physical contact. But then he kinda curled into himself as the shaking got worse. Now, I had cause for concern. "Itachi?"

His answer was to cover his mouth and cough violently, which freaked me out pretty badly. The guy's never had so much as a cold in his entire life, and right then he sounded like he had the black lung or something. I scooted closer to him on the bed and pulled his hand away. I needed to know what was wrong, and as

long as his mouth was covered up, I wasn't likely to get an answer. But I never even voiced my question.

When I pulled Itachi's hand away, I'd looked down at the limb just for a second. That was when I noticed little flecks of blood on his palm. He wasn't cut anywhere on his hand, so that left only one option. My partner was hacking up blood.

As if to confirm my suspicions not but a moment later another coughing fit broke out, and Itachi spewed a few drops of blood onto my hands. Something was wrong with my partner.


	27. Chapter 26

There's something that I probably should have mentioned earlier. The main reason I haven't said anything prior to this…incident, is because there really was no good way to bring up the topic in our conversation.

My body, despite looking perfectly healthy on the outside, is in fact the victim of a rather nasty disease. You don't need to know much more than that; only that it's the kind of malady that can only get worse if you do nothing or stays the same if you take a lot of medicines. I, not wanting to die (yet) opted to take plenty of medication in order to subdue the illness.

But modern medicine can only do so much to slow the ravages of a sickness like mine. Eventually the doses of medicine have to be upped, or I have to switch to a new prescription altogether. And if I don't, the disease manifests itself in rather unpleasant ways. Such as coughing up blood on my partner.

At the time, I wasn't too concerned about the issue. Whenever something like this happened, I simply went to Kakuzu, explained my problem, and either received additional medication or an entirely new kind of drug to handle the malady. This time was slightly different, though. You see, now Kisame was with me.

The two of us walked down the hall in complete silence; something to which I was rather accustomed. Yet on that particular day, it was an uncomfortable sort of quiet; the kind of dead silence you experience only when you've done something terribly wrong and your parents or teachers or someone of equal authority has found out, and you are waiting in nervous agony for them to start speaking to you about it. That kind of noiselessness.

Kisame did in fact break the silence, and his words made me feel as though I were indeed a child. "You never told me about this."

Of course I never mentioned it to him. Not only was it something that couldn't be brought up in day-to-day conversations, but my disease was something that I truly wanted to hide from Kisame. As if going blind weren't bad enough…well, what kind of reaction could be expected from Kisame?

To a shinobi, any and all forms of weakness are a hindrance to our success and survival. All flaws and weak points must be dealt with swiftly; else wise, the cause of the Achilles' heel should be disposed of immediately.

The way I looked at it, my flaws were becoming more and more apparent each day. I was excellent at fire jutsu, but those techniques have their limits. My Sharingan was definitely my strong point, but it was slowly blinding me. Finally, my body was being riddled by a disease that possessed no cure. Had I been living in Konoha under these conditions, the medical ninja probably would have had me discharged and sent to live out the rest of my days in a hospital wing for the terminally ill.

As it stands, my life in Konoha was far behind, and now I was at the mercy of the Akatsuki. If you can call such people merciful.

That was why faults in my armor were guarded so carefully. Pein and Kakuzu knew of my disease, but the others were completely clueless. No one but Kisame had learned of my blindness, and I was determined to keep it that way. Around here if you can't be useful, you're dead weight. And if you become dead weight, you're only a step away from being dead.

My logic seemed foolproof, so I had no problem looking to Kisame and telling him simply, "There was no need to mention my disease." He didn't reply to my statement, and didn't say a word as I walked into Kakuzu's room and informed the banker/medic that I required a higher dosage of my drugs than what he currently gave me.

The shark didn't make a sound as we traveled back down the hall, nor when we entered the room. It wasn't until he saw me take a few of the pills and then put the rest into my dresser drawer that he spoke again, merely repeating his earlier statement. I gave him the same answer as I had earlier, hoping he'd let the matter drop.

Only he didn't. Instead, he grabbed me and bodily slammed me into the drywall that separated our chambers from Sasori and Deidara's room. "You didn't think I needed to know?" he snapped. "You didn't think your own partner ought to know if there's something wrong with you?! Something that could jeopardize our safety in battle?! Tch, and they call you a genius…"

I don't know why I did it. Logically, I should have controlled myself and told him to let me go, it was none of his business, ect. But what actually happened was that I balled my hand into a fist and punched Kisame square in the jaw.

He was shocked at my actions, as was I. For all of two seconds. Then he punched me right back.

Something snapped then, and for the next few minutes the two of us were in our first ever fistfight, grappling with one another until Kisame had finally pinned me under him on the floor. My hands were held above my head, and he was straddling me to keep me on the ground. Both of us were panting, and still fairly mad at the other. We glared at each other as our breathing slowed, and another uncomfortable stillness filled the room. "Why?"

If there is one question that I hate more than any other, it is the question 'why'. It's possibly the shortest and stupidest thing you can ever inquire of someone, yet I can guarantee you beyond a shadow of a doubt that you'll be asked this question no less than a dozen times in your life. The best retort is the one I gave Kisame in that moment. "Why what?"

"Why didn't you tell me?! I get why you wouldn't have brought this up years ago" (even he can think logically at times, you know) "but now…Itachi, why couldn't you trust me now?"

I wanted to snap at him and tell him that this wasn't a trust issue; it was a question of my survival. Yet as I turned the situation over in my head again and again, it was starting to seem like a trust issue. My earlier argument about this not coming up in conversation didn't seem like something that would hold water now, and I needed to think up an answer and fast. After all, I still had a giant shark sitting on top of me waiting for his explanation.

But I never had to give it. Kisame finally let out a sigh and climbed off of me. "Forget it. You're as impossible as always."

I didn't like hearing those words from my partner. In fact, I hated it. Kisame had definitely said rude things about me before, but usually behind my back to the other members or when he was drunk off his rocker. Even during the times when I had been insulted directly, Kisame said it with a smile and in such a light way that I knew he wasn't trying to make a dig at me. Something like, "Quiet as ever, aren't you?" or "Slow down, the dango's not going anywhere, Itachi." But this…

Once upon a time, Kisame's words would have bothered me for a passing moment, and nothing more. Now, however, they burned more than I thought was feasible. I didn't want him to think of me as impossible.

When he tried to leave our position on the floor, I decided that even if I couldn't change where he was mentally, I could physically keep him in the same position. Before I could think better of it, I'd wrapped myself around Kisame's arm and dragged him back down to the floor.

My partner looked surprised at the movement, to say the least. I didn't do things on impulse, and I most certainly did **not** touch Kisame without being touched by him first. He raised a brow as he looked down at me, waiting for an answer.

I think that was what finally did it; having him look _down_ at me. I felt small and vulnerable, my mind scrambling to find the right answers to the multiple questions now going through his head. The worst part was knowing that if I didn't provide him with a good answer then, everything would be ruined. Not the plan; the 'us' that had been formed. "I'm sorry."

Those two words are the worst thing you can ever say to someone. Not only is it a sign of weakness, it also shows that you can't think of anything better to say and you're hoping that the other person is going to forgive you for your stupidity. "Really, I'm sorry." So why did I keep saying it then? Simple. Because I honestly was sorry for hurting him, and was too busying crying to think up something better to say.

Yes, crying. I, Itachi Uchiha, was crying into my partner's arm as I cursed my disease, my Sharingan, my stubborn nature, and above all, the damnable shark that had stolen my heart without even trying.

Although I can't speak for Kisame, I _can_ say with some level of certainty that of all the reactions to get from me, he wasn't expecting tears. I could feel him panic beneath my fingertips; not just be aware of his pulse increasing or hearing the stuttered "Ums," that left his mouth then, but actually sense the uneasiness radiating off my partner's body.

He finally came to his senses (somewhat) and grabbed his discarded shirt from earlier to dry the tears falling from my left eye, seeing as my right eye was more than happy to use Kisame's arm as a tissue.

It took me a little while to calm down after that, and I wasn't surprised in the least to discover that my ease had been brought about with the help of Kisame playing with my hair. After he was certain that I wasn't going to break down again, he looked at me and asked the second-dumbest question mankind has ever spoken. "Are you ok?"

I was tempted to snap at him. Tempted beyond reason to tell him that yes, I was fine, and then crawl into bed and go to sleep and pretend that none of this had ever happened. Instead, I actually took a moment to ponder his inquiry. The correct answer was no. No, I was not ok, I hadn't been ok for a while, and our fight really hadn't done anything to help the problem.

This admittance shattered something inside of me into tiny pieces, never to be reassembled again. It was a strange feeling. First I was completely numb; and then, I felt better. And after that…I won't say exactly what I felt. Only that I practically launched myself into Kisame's lap and began kissing him with a ferocity that up until then didn't think was possible from me.

To this day, I don't know why Kisame didn't push me off then and call for help from the others. Any sensible person would have assumed that I'd gone crazy, since the only other explanation for rapid mood swings like that is PMS.

Keep your mouth shut on that issue if you know what's good for you.

I'm left to think that Kisame was just so shocked by my actions that he gave up trying to make sense of them and simply went with it. But a small part of me thinks that maybe, just maybe, he understood that something was wrong with me, and I needed him to fix it.

Our hands got friendlier than they'd ever been before, and for the longest time I didn't think we were going to break our kiss for hell or high water. I don't know if he made the first move or I did, but at some point our fingers were fumbling with each other's pants, trying to get free of the clothing's confines. Forget common sense, forget the plan, forget everything! For once I was going to live in the moment and enjoy it.

Somehow Kisame had the good sense to pick me up and lay me on the bed as our final articles of clothing came off. While I was writhing on the bed and his hands were touching me in places that will remain off the record, his mouth moved and bit down on a very sensitive spot on my neck. I didn't think twice about moaning his name and burying my fingers in his hair.

He kissed his way up my neck, then my jaw, and finally stopped to nibble on my ear before whispering a single word to me. "Itachi."

Never has the sound of my own name made me so happy.


	28. Chapter 27

I'll skip over the exact details of what happened then and go straight to the next morning.

I woke up nestled into Kisame's side, with one of his arms wrapped protectively around my frame. Likewise, I myself had fallen asleep with an arm outstretched over his chest, the other tucked up against my body.

I took a moment to assess the damage. Last night, I'd completely let my protective shell fall to pieces and shown true emotion towards my partner. We'd let our hormones take over and…well, you can fill in the blank. Afterwards, we'd both fallen asleep, which left us exposed to any attackers. And to top it off, my lower back was sore, and I now had at least half a dozen bruises and bite marks adorning my body.

Needless to say, I'd never been happier in all my life.

As I was working up the strength to open my eyes, a familiar hand reached up and brushed a few stray locks of my hair away from my face. "You planning on waking up anytime soon?" Kisame inquired.

"Hn." Honestly, that was about all I could muster up at the moment.

He chuckled, clearly enjoying the current situation more so than I. "Feeling sore?"

I opened my eyes then to frown up at his grinning face. "Hn."

Another chuckle. "At least you liked it, right?"

I paused for a moment, thinking about my answer, before giving a nod in response. "It was rather nice."

The smile faltered for a second on his face. "As opposed to what?"

I wondered for the briefest of moments what had made my partner go from relaxed and humorous to snappish and defensive in such a short span of time. And then, it hit me. He'd taken my comment _that_ way. Well now. It appears that even the most ruthless of criminals need to have their ego stroked when it comes to bedroom activities.

My sadism returned then, and I decided to toy with his mind. Mustering up the most innocent and confused look I could give without overplaying it, I calmly asked him, "What makes you think I have anything to compare you to?"

Kisame tensed up as soon as the words left his lips. I'd joined the Akatsuki before my sixteenth birthday and had been by his side ever since. Prior to life as a rogue criminal, romance had never been high on my priority list, shocking as that may seem. The shark knew I viewed people in terms of value to our goals or as targets if we'd been given permission to kill them; never in a sexual way, especially one that involved me being dominated. He'd just stepped on a landmine, and we both knew it. "Erm…well, it's just…for Kami's sake, Itachi, why didn't you say something! Geez, if I'd known you were new to this I would've been more gentle-OW!"

I'd interrupted Kisame's rather pathetic excuse for an apology by biting him on the chin. I didn't let go until I'd drawn a few drops of blood and licked up the mess, thus ensuring that I had both his attention and silence. I then rose from my position and stared blankly into his eyes, drinking in the panic that could clearly be read on his face. Even if he'd been the seme the night before, I wasn't about to let him overstep the boundaries I'd set up years before now. "Kisame."

"Yes?"

Slowly, like a predator descending on its prey, I leaned down over my partner until my lips were pressed against his ear. "If you**ever** threaten to take me gently again, you will pay for it," I cautioned before nipping at his ear.

It took a few seconds for my words to hit home, and when they finally registered in my partner's mind, all Kisame could do was laugh. Not a nervous little chuckle, or a roaring howl; it was an honest laugh, and rather pleasant to hear. "Forgive me, Itachi," he requested, his voice heavily laced with sarcasm.

I smiled and kissed his neck. "Just this once," I assured him.

A pause. And then I was on my back, Kisame was on top of me, and our lips were locked together. I wasn't complaining.

The next few months were without a doubt the best time of my life. I don't know exactly what we became then; not exactly lovers, but definitely more than partners. I still was the more authoritative of the two of us, but Kisame had full control in bed. A rather enjoyable compromise, if I do say so myself.

At any rate, the two of us became much closer than we'd ever been. Even it was only a kind gesture, a few whispered words, or a momentary glance, I knew that Kisame and I had finally formed a bond that was based on something more than being partners in a criminal organization.

And that brings us to the present. That is, me, lying on the ground, completely blind and dying slowly after my fight with Sasuke.

My current position came as no shock; years before this, I'd sworn to stay alive long enough to let Sasuke end my life. The desire to kill me and avenge our worthless clan would make him stronger; and by murdering me, he could redeem the Uchiha name in Konoha's eyes. Yes, I'd planned all of this long ago, and all for the sake of my beloved younger brother.

Even if things hadn't played out this way, I knew that I wouldn't have lived for much longer. Besides my disease, the original Akatsuki members were dying one after another. Sasori had been the first, followed shortly thereafter by Hidan and Kakuzu. Deidara left us next, and I suppose that since Orochimaru was in the original group, he could be included as well. Like dominoes, we fell one after the other. Now, it was my turn.

I can hear someone nearby, and briefly wonder who it is. My eyes can't see, and I'm too weak to try and place the exact chakra signature. "Itachi?"

Kisame. Why does it have to be Kisame?

Part of me wants him to be far away right now; I don't want him to see me like this. Broken, bleeding, and barely clinging to life, I'm a far cry from the Itachi he's used to seeing. His memories of me are being tainted by this final encounter; for the first time in a long while, I almost regret that things have turned out this way.

Yet there is another, more emotional part of me that's practically begging for Kisame to stay. I once heard that the worst fate a person can endure is to die alone, but until this moment, disagreed. Now that I am on my deathbed, though, the words take on a whole new meaning; I want nothing more than for Kisame to stay here with me.

He's either kneeling or sitting now, I can't tell which. I know this because his fingers are pressed against my neck, checking to see if I still have a pulse. Yes Kisame, I'm still here. I haven't left you yet.

The hand moves away from my neck to slide across my face and up onto the top of my head. When he starts to smooth the knots out of my hair, I can't help but smile. "I'm right here, Itachi," he whispers, as though I'm the one that needs comfort.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to him. I want to tell him the whole truth; that I pursued him for selfish reasons. That I tried to kill him on several occasions. That he's the most important person in my life. All those words, instances, memories, churn about in my mind, begging to be set free at long last. But I know it won't happen. We don't have that time anymore; already my body's growing cold, and I'm losing the feeling in my limbs.

He doesn't say anything back to me. What is there to say? What is there left for us to do? Reminisce about our missions? Talk about our fallen comrades? No, that's all in the past. It's unimportant, meaningless to both of us now.

Time's running out. I know that I won't last another five minutes; I'll be here for two, three more at best. Better make this quick.

I gather up what little strength I have left and look up to where I'm guessing Kisame's face is. "I love you."

I've been meaning to tell him that for the longest time. I could just never find the right moment to say those words to him.

His hand stops. Not abruptly, not slowly. The movement simply ceases altogether.

And then a pair of warm lips press themselves against my own. It's brief, tender; a farewell kiss if I ever felt one. "I love you too." The words make me smile.

I know you do Kisame. I'm so happy you said it aloud.

You're never supposed to tell someone goodbye, so I won't. Goodbye implies that you'll never meet again, and I can't be sure of that. If there's an afterlife, we'll probably go to the same place. If I can, Kisame, I'll wait for you. And if-


	29. Chapter 28

What? What are you expecting me to say right now? That my partner's death came as a real shock? That when he died beneath my fingertips, I broke down crying? Sorry, but none of that's gonna happen.

I know it seems like most of the time I don't have a damn clue about what's going on, but that's not the case. You don't become an S-rank criminal and stay that way for long if you're not halfway intelligent, and I'm no exception.

I knew for a long time that he was going to let Sasuke kill him. It's not like we sat down and he told me cart blanche that it was his way to die, but he'd mentioned it before. I knew that even if Sasuke didn't get him, my partner was going to die from his disease. The last few months had been hard on his health; You could say I was prepared for the end long before it came, and was actually surprised he mustered up enough strength to fight his brother in the end.

But more importantly than all that, I knew when we split off for the final time (him to battle Sasuke, me to play around with the kid's cronies) I'd be lucky to ever see him alive again. He didn't say goodbye or anything to me as we went our separate ways; that isn't in him. Or it wasn't, I guess I should say…

Naturally, when I found him lying on the ground later on, I wasn't sure whether he was dead or not. I tried calling his name, but surprise surprise, he didn't answer. I actually had to check for his pulse after that, and found (to my shock) he was still alive.

Dozens of emotions raced through me then; surprise, joy, anger (at Sasuke for doing this), things of that nature. The only one I didn't feel then was relief. It didn't take a genius to figure out that even though the weasel was alive right now, that was going to change pretty soon.

I don't know what got into me then, but I started playing with his hair. Maybe it was to relax him, maybe it was because I needed to do something with my hands, it could have been anything. But it made him smile, and that's what counts. Then I went I told him that I was right there.

Stupid. I could have said anything to him, but I went and stated the obvious. I wanted to kick myself for that, but there was no point to it then. The black-haired beauty dying so close had to be my priority.

He told me he was sorry then. Sorry for what? He'd been a sadistic little bastard for years, yeah, but I was used to it. Sorry for accidentally poisoning me, screwing with my mind, punching then crying then pouncing on me? That couldn't be it. So what was left?

I never had the chance to figure it out, because of what happened next. The Uchiha turned his head towards me, his blind eyes somehow managing to lock with mine as he told me that he loved me.

It's like everything froze then. Time, my breathing, the whole world could have stopped then for all I knew. I hadn't seen that one coming. Not by a mile.

I did what I did next because I had to. I leaned in, gave Itachi a kiss and told him that I felt the same way he did.

I wouldn't have done that if it weren't true. The kid was annoying as hell at times, unpredictable in his moods, and far too sadistic to be normal, but I loved him.

I'd gone through many and various partners before him, but the weasel was the only one who I ever felt belonged at my side. Even before we started working like a real team, something about him felt right to me.

He was pretty good company, as long as I didn't do anything to piss him off. I remember hearing the others complain about how loud or aggravating their partners could be, but I don't think I could ever honestly complain about mine like that. He scared the hell out of me sometimes, that was all. Really, I probably had the best partner of any Akatsuki member.

And then during the last few months…life was pretty good, you could say. It wasn't just the sex, or the fact that Itachi opened up to me as a human being. No, it was something else. I honestly felt like we cared about each other.

Maybe that's why this hurts so much. After everything that we've been through, all the crap he's done to me and gotten out of me, he's gone without even a goodbye.

So where the hell does that leave everything? His brat of a brother feels guilty now and has sworn revenge against Konoha, the village my now-former partner was trying to protect. Pretty much everyone in the original Akatsuki is dead, and the ones left alive aren't much good. And now, I'm all alone.

I'm alone for the first time in years, and it's all because my twisted partner turned caring lover had to get royally screwed over by fate and die! For Kami's sake, it's bad enough that we lost both the "artists" and the supposedly immortals, but why'd they have to kill Ita-him.

Tch. This is pathetic. I can't even say his name anymore, and he's been dead for what feels like an eternity.

I miss him. I don't know what else I'm supposed to say, and that sums it up pretty well. Without him here, there's this emptiness around me. I miss having him by my side, I miss hearing his voice (as seldom as I heard it), and I miss waking up to see him curled into my side with a small, content smile on his face.

Like I said earlier, this is pathetic. If he were here now, he'd probably be chewing me out for acting like such an idiot over his death. Shinobi aren't supposed to show any emotions, regardless of the situation. Besides, I see death all the time, so losing him shouldn't affect me all that much. It shouldn't eat away at me like how his disease tore him to pieces, and sure as hell shouldn't hurt this much.

Damnit, now I'm crying! Fuck, how did things end up like this?!...I guess it doesn't matter now.

I don't know what I'm going to do. If I try to kill myself or purposely get killed on the battlefield, my partner will probably kick my ass for it as soon as I get to the afterlife. In fact, he'll definitely beat the living daylights out of me. So that just leaves living.

That's what I'll do, then. Keep on fighting under the Akatsuki colors, since that's more than likely what he wants from me. Heh, I've always followed his orders up until this point, so why refute them now just because he's dead?

And besides, even deceased, Itachi still scares the crap out of me.


	30. Epilogue

Itachi was sitting on the ground, waiting quietly without any movement. It seemed like that was all he ever did anymore; just recline in the barren room of white without a chair to sit on, a book to read or even something remotely interesting that could be used for entertainment. But what could you expect? This was hell's waiting room.

Truthfully, Itachi didn't mind that much. Sometimes he grew bored, and sometimes he desperately wanted to look around the afterlife and see more than the brief taste he'd received upon arrival, but always he simply resigned himself to waiting. He had a promise to keep.

The Uchiha had long ago lost track of time here. Had he been dead for weeks, months, years? He no longer knew. And so he simply sat there in silence, forever hoping he wouldn't have to stay much longer.

The monotony of his task was broken then when the ground began writhing about and faded from bleached white to charcoal grey. Itachi felt his long-dead heart race at the sight; it meant a new arrival was coming. And considering that this part of hell was reserved for only the most dastardly and wicked of criminals, there was a good chance it was his former partner.

His eyes widened ever so slightly when he saw blue flesh rising up from the depths of the smoke. This could very well be it.

Itachi's suspicions were confirmed moments later when Kisame came into full view, lying on his back still sporting his old Akatsuki cloak. Finally, Kisame was here.

The Uchiha couldn't help but smile as the shark groaned and sat up, facing away from Itachi as he took in the sight of the waiting room. "Where am I?" he questioned while rubbing his head.

"Hell would be the simplest answer," Itachi replied calmly, his monotone voice never wavering regardless of the emotions stirring beneath the surface.

Kisame froze at the words, as if unable to process hearing Itachi's voice speaking to him after all this time. Slowly, he rotated his body to face the Uchiha, shocked yellow pupils locking with blank onyx. "Itachi?"

"Hn."

Silence and stillness followed the confirmation, and neither man knew what to do to break it. "Itachi," Kisame finally began.

"Yes?"

"…How've you been?"

A smirk graced Itachi's lips for an instant, than vanished just as fast. "Aside from being dead, fine." Kisame nodded, clearly unable to think of anything more to say to his partner.

Itachi eventually chose to break the awkward feeling in the air and beckoned for his partner, eyes wordlessly demanding Kisame to obey. The shark didn't hesitate to approach the Uchiha, and soon they were only separated by mere inches.

Itachi gently reached up and touched Kisame's cheek with his fingertips, the very movement contradicting his sadistic nature and confusing the shark in one fell swoop. "I missed you." A statement, calmly delivered in a quiet voice that spoke volumes on its own.

Arms grabbed at the younger male and yanked him towards Kisame's body; arms that Itachi no longer feared, but took shelter within. The Uchiha allowed his partner to have an ounce of control (just this once) and let himself be held. Affection, protection, emotion, devotion, all had been missing from the weasel for years. Now, in a single movement caused by his partner, he felt these feelings return full force, prompting him to reach up and cling to his partner's cloak with a loose fist. "Missed you too," Kisame murmured against the Uchiha's silky hair.

Itachi had often wondered what their reunion would be like, if they ever met again at all. He knew there would be no tears, no loud declarations of love, nothing of that sort. Sometimes he wondered if Kisame would have moved on and found a new lover to replace him; in the darkest times, he even imagined that the shark would simply look back on their time together and decide that it was nothing more than a mistake. For it to go like this was almost enough to make him smile. Almost.

Resting his head against Kisame and allowing his eyes to flutter shut, Itachi took a moment to absorb the situation and enjoy the embrace. Briefly he wondered how long they could stay like this. Forever sounded nice.

The Uchiha let out a pleasant sigh as calloused fingers made their way to his scalp. Kami, he'd missed those hands. "You've been waiting here this whole time." Not a question, a statement.

"Hn."

"You didn't have to do that, you know."

Itachi was tempted to glare up at his partner and give him a harsh reply, but chose instead to stay put. No point in starting a fight after such a brief reunion. "I wanted to."

Kisame hummed in acceptance and allowed them to fall back into silence, this one decidedly more comfortable than the last. Time passed, but neither one seemed to notice or care. "Itachi?"

Onyx eyes looked up, betraying a hint of curiosity for only a second. "Hn?"

Wordlessly Kisame bent down and kissed Itachi.

Thus ends the tale of the sometimes confused, sometimes fearful, sometimes scheming, and always loving shark and sadist.


End file.
